How to be a hit at parties -- especially if you have social anxiety

the_hypotenuse · 2012-12-30T23:19:37+00:00

This is a good way to get out of your shell as a beginner and talk to people more, but DONT do it forever. You become seen as:

a) a nice guy, people will walk all over you.

b) boring, as you are doing 'robotic' jobs and not bantering.

c) look desperate and eager to please others.

Your better off being the guy who introduces themselves and jokes around with people rather than the servant. You may be lifting yourself into a higher value at the start of the night, but its definitely not sustainable.

Constellious · 2012-12-31T00:33:27+00:00

I just try to find the most obnoxious person at a party and outdo them.

Srsly. At house parties, my whole game boils down to "be Keith Richards". Best part is that even when it doesnt work, I have a great time.

Methaxetamine · 2012-12-31T00:49:21+00:00

Eh sounds just like you'll be everyone's bitch. Not a hit, a pushover.

If they deserve it it's different.

2012-12-31T08:28:36+00:00

I had a friend in college that would stay near the keg at parties when he first arrived. He would help pump the keg and pour the drinks while simultaneously interacting with people at the party. It was a great way to get to know everyone and of course he would flirt with every cute he poured a drink for. He actually had a lot success with girls, one of the best naturals I have ever met.

VZPurp · 2012-12-31T06:13:51+00:00

Helping other people out doesn't make them like you, but having social proof does.

Introducing people? Social proof. Pointing things out to people like you're important? Social proof.

Bringing people drinks? Not useful. Managing mini-crises? Not useful.

If anything, asking people to get you drinks is going to do more for you than getting them for others. Asking people to do favors for you makes them like you more.

sssiim · 2012-12-31T15:38:59+00:00

In my opinion you just described how to become a beta. I mean, the part about introducing people to strangers is good advice, but fetching drinks and all that stuff is the opposite what you should be doing. You should be friendly but I am pretty sure there's a point where you should stop.

pacg · 2012-12-31T03:56:51+00:00

I'd add not to be cloying. There's a difference between being a good host and an insufferable one. Room must be afforded your guests to interact and mingle without molestation. Check up on people. Engage in a little banter, then move on to the next group. Definitely take all opportunities to interact. You're the host; it's your in.

TheCausality · 2013-01-02T01:52:51+00:00

Learn to eat fire, seriously it does wonders for your confidence.

For-Teh-Lulz · 2012-12-30T21:44:58+00:00

I like this attitude. The only thing I would caution is if you're not that good at reading social interactions or people, don't step on the actual host/ hostess's toes, and some people might not be comfortable enough in socially dynamic situations to have a relative stranger introducing them to others. Try not to come off as overbearing or trying too hard.

2012-12-31T00:06:06+00:00

The next step up from this, of course, is actually being the host, rather than just adopting that mindset. It's scarier, because if it doesn't pan out, you bear the responsibility, but the payoff is worth it.

Title	How to be a hit at parties -- especially if you have social anxiety
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	28
Comments	19
Date	December 30, 2012 9:08 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15osie/how_to_be_a_hit_at_parties_especially_if_you_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-a-hit-at-parties-especially-if-you-have.1345019 https://theredarchive.com/post/1345019

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