How do you balance loving yourself for who you are with self-improvement? [Inner Game]

pirateundies · 2013-04-18T23:13:15+00:00

It sounds like you've internalized that you feel better when you keep healthy habits, and that's really a good thing! Besides that, it's important to disconnect how you feel about something you're (not) doing from how you feel about yourself as a person. There was an article on here recently about shame, guilt, and confidence. It might help to read that.

Other than that I think an ideal internal conversation with yourself would go something like "I'm not hitting the gym right now. I hate that I'm not hitting the gym right now. But that doesn't mean I'm sucking as a person." But that's just how I try to talk to myself in my head.

2013-04-19T00:15:25+00:00

This sounds just like me, to an extent. I don't go back to AFC mode, but I certainly don't feel like I'm on top of my game if I miss workouts or if I eat shitty.

I'm probably not in the best position to give advice because I'm still struggling with the same thing, but I think it has something to do with momentum and scaling.

If you or I were to miss a day of lifting and eating pretty often, it would definitely take its toll. But if you or I were to miss a day after hitting our marks perfectly for 100 days, I think we could shrug it off a little better.

Not sure if this applies or helps, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to get another opinion out there.

Good luck with your pickup and workouts.

carbon6595 · 2013-04-19T00:30:02+00:00

I love that I am willing to take the time to do the right things, and that I can recognize when I'm off track so I can make corrections.

2013-04-19T02:28:28+00:00

what do you mean balance the two?? they go hand in hand mate...and as for bad days, just go through with them, it's all part of the journey. and remember, it's the journey to improvment which is important, and what you should be focusing on enjoying, not the destination or goal you have for yourself in mind. you get better because you have bad days, because you bother to be consistent with your efforts. that day you were really tired, but still bothered to go to the gym, even if you did a shit workout, it's counts, and is why you are a champ. most people wouldn't bother. stop worrying about things not being perfect, or waiting/hoping for completion, and enjoy now.

Praxiss · 2013-04-19T05:29:48+00:00

Well the belief you need is "I am enough". You can say it all you want and that won't mean shit. The best affirmation of that is to never wait to act. Yes you are a work in progress but if you believe you are enough then you are already having success with women ect. You're not waiting for the next puzzle piece before taking action.

So I know that I want to keep improving myself, but I always took action even when I was far far away from my goals - And I had success! So what that leaves me with is the first hand knowledge that I do these things for me and me alone. They may indirectly aid in my other goals but that is not that primary focus, I could achieve without these things as well. They are just a bonus, and primarily for my own self edification.

Kitad · 2013-04-19T09:02:22+00:00

Well there are two components to success, one is being comfortable with whatever happens and the other is taking action and getting the things you want.

Seems to me like you have a great process going and you actually get a lot of pain when you fail to execute it. Well, I think that the right action in this case would be to manage time in order for you not to miss the process.

It's good to be criticaf of oneself, It's okay to beat yourself up if you fail to do something, if not, we will be progressively drawn to mediocrity. Just remember, "bad days" should be days where you failed to execute, not days where your results were bad. Learn to feel bad only when things are inside your control.

Related RSD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr8XIGcnt6k

On the flip-side I would be a little concerned if your self-esteem suddenly vanished if you were lazy one day. I guess what you want to develop is the capacity to honestly admit that you were lazy, admit it sucks, but continue to realize that you are still awesome, and that we are all human and we make mistakes.

Remember, you are a cool guy who is constantly improving in yourself and just want to learn how to relate and give value to people. You are the top tier of this society.

quiet_wish · 2013-04-19T08:18:13+00:00

This is all based on a faulty assumption. You assume that "constantly improving yourself" somehow gets in the way of "loving and appreciating yourself".

On the contrary, the two help each other. If you truly love and appreciate yourself, self improvement is as natural as breathing. If you're constantly improving yourself, loving yourself is a lot easier.

gooseduck · 2013-04-19T15:35:39+00:00

How can you ever hope to put in the effort to improve if you don't love yourself first?

save_the_last_dance · 2013-04-19T20:50:06+00:00

This is a beautiful observation. Four candy canes for you! You go Lucky!

YesIRealize · 2013-04-23T04:47:41+00:00

Just decide that no matter what, you accept you, and love you. Apologize to yourself, and then do your best not to let yourself down, again. It's all you can do.

Title	How do you balance loving yourself for who you are with self-improvement? [Inner Game]
Author	Lucky261
Upvotes	32
Comments	13
Date	April 18, 2013 10:10 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1cmxkf/how_do_you_balance_loving_yourself_for_who_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-balance-loving-yourself-for-who-you-are.1350842 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350842

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