Am I being too naive?

ysef95 · 2013-06-15T10:55:30+00:00

Nah you need to approach as much as you possibly can

Willem20 · 2013-06-15T11:27:43+00:00

Hi.

Sometimes you have a shitty night, just accept it.

On the 'too young' thing, how old was she? Personally I never believe it, I think it's just a way to reject someone without hurting him too much. But if she was like 30, I would buy it. She is probably in a way different time period of her life.

BianchiBMX · 2013-06-15T19:14:00+00:00

It's a common shit-test according to the sidebar. Here, I've copied and pasted what you should do next time.

"I think you're too young."

• BETA RESPONSES: blow out

• ALPHA RESPONSES: "Yeah, I agree. I snuck out of daycare today and stole my dad's ID to sneak in here..." "Oh don't worry about it, I won't hold your old age against you." "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself... you don't look that old." "Yeah, you probably couldn't keep up with me. Would be fun though." "That's why I came to you--I have a cougar fetish."

2013-06-15T13:19:49+00:00

Bad nights happen, but that's cool. You can learn from bad nights just like you can learn from good nights.

my friend is waiting for us to find 2 girls who seem interested.

Don't wait for IOIs. Just approach women that you find attractive. This is really just an excuse to not approach. Just because she's not sending out IOIs doesn't mean she's not looking to meet a guy or that she's not interested in you. And if she's not interested, just don't bother her and move on. No worries.

"well.. if we never approach this is such high standards for an approach we will probably only approach one group this whole night"

yep.

Like I just like to approach because I think its all a numbers game and you really dont know who is goin to buy

It's sort of yes and no. It is a numbers game, but you can increase your success rate by having confidence, humor, etc. Still, approaching a lot is good. It's like working out a muscle. The more you exercise that muscle, the stronger it becomes. So even if you're approaching girls you don't necessarily find attractive (or you're approaching people just to chat), you're still strengthening things such as your will power, cold approach skills, etc.

recyclablebantha · 2013-06-16T08:50:23+00:00

unfortunately, the night does not end with such high enthusiasm. I am pumped prior to going out because I am stoking myself up with my wishful thoughts and success in mind, and I guess setting a high expectation for myself.

Couple things here. Having wishful thoughts is fine, but I wonder if your thoughts were clearly defined or general? And what was your high expectation (goal) here, exactly? Did you have a clear idea how you were going to meet that goal when you started?

Getting psyched up is great, but simply fantasizing about wishes and expectations isn't as useful as knowing how you're going to make those wishes come true or meet those expectations.

I met a girl the other weekend who told me, hey I am too old but you can get any girl under 25 you want. I am 22. That gave me confidence, but my friend tells me she was just saying that to get me off of her... Is that true?

She could have been telling you that to get you off of her. She might not have been feeling it. If that's the case, there might not have been anything you could have done.

Also, I would reduce her statement of "you can get any girl under 25 that you want," to simply mean, "you cannot get me." Because she can really only speak for herself. This woman is not some authority for EVERY girl over the age of 25 or even for EVERY girl under the age of 25. For her to present herself as such is rather asinine and ridiculous.

Furthermore, the idea that anyone could get EVERY girl in any demographic is just as false. I wouldn't base your confidence on any extreme ideas like this because they're not realistic.

Note: I attracted girls as much as +12 years older than me when I was 18, and I've pulled women 16 years younger than me. Some people care about age but rules of attraction based on age are bullshit.

We dont do many approaches because my friend is waiting for us to find 2 girls who seem interested.

Yeah, don't let your friend dictate YOUR approaches, especially if he's going to arbitrarily limit you like this. I would be wary of this friend of yours. A guy who holds you back like this sounds like a guy who could easily justify cock-blocking you or otherwise throwing you under the bus to try to further himself.

I get angry because in my head I am thinking "well.. if we never approach this is such high standards for an approach we will probably only approach one group this whole night" but he seems convicted so I follow suite.

He was acting on conviction based on fear. You probably realize by now that you shouldn't have followed him. Fear is never a good way to start. Not to mention, to warm up, there's absolutely NO reason you both couldn't have simply talked to solitary girls or groups of guys. Because it's a REALLY bad idea to sit back and be anti-social while waiting for "the right set" to approach. You're handicapping yourself by trying to warm-up and get somewhere with your first set, as opposed to being on all night.

Is this normal in PUA when you go out?

What you've described is normal among people who hold themselves back. :P AFCs and the like.

People have told me I am too extreme sometimes with my approaches.

Why do they think that? What did they say?

Who are these "people"?

Like I just like to approach because I think its all a numbers game and you really dont know who is goin to buy, but I guess people with more experience can sense who will buy vs who wont from a distance..?

It is a numbers game, especially in the beginning when you're building up your experience/accumulating reference experiences.

And as you get more experienced, you may possibly find yourself approaching more discriminately but with higher success rates because you are more aware of who is more likely "buy". Even then, it's still a numbers game, it just gets easier to play. (Note: being able to tell who WILL buy, is near impossible most of the time. Too many variables most of the time.)

Title	Am I being too naive?
Author	udontknome22
Upvotes	6
Comments	15
Date	June 15, 2013 10:30 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ge7d0/am_i_being_too_naive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-being-too-naive.1353867 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353867

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