I'll try to keep this short.

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I met my first girlfriend when I was at the peak of TRP, I met this girl who was pretty cool and checked all my boxes. UNTILLLL I actually got to know her, I probably should've studied TRP more when it comes to LTR's but I never bothered with that.

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As you all know relationships go from being amazing to sour eventually, and that's exactly what happened to me. I was blind and slowly manipulated by this person, being accused of cheating, and constantly attempting to "cage" me in. This person was a depressed person come to find out and explained she was suicidal yadayada...

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I started to get pretty bad anxiety about 5 months before I actually cut ties with this girl..

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so here is my question, what is this feeling? I keep getting it, my heart starts to race alittle and I feel awfully negative... it's almost something else is "inside" me... It comes and goes in waves. I know this was caused by this evil ass women.... She was very good at what she was doing but I beat her in her own game.

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How she made me feel? Shitty, pointless, almost lost interest in doing shit because she always told me I never did enough. We would literally hang out all day and she would cry and say we never hangout... she would go from being a witch to a bitch, to a queen... I feel like her being BPD and disfunctional caused a virus in me.

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I wanna purge this stupid virus she left me with, before ya'll comment YES I LIFT.

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Lets talk, I need your help reddit! thanks