LTR of 1.5 years moved across the country to be with me, wants to move in together as condition for staying

BrenHam2 · 2018-10-24T16:38:55+00:00

Sounds like you received an ultimatum, I personally don't tolerate them.

Sounds like you don't want to be with her but don't want to lose a girl who treats you so well,. I know that feeling and decided to end it, best lifr move ever.

Also, if you have problems that you need thereapy for then you probably shouldn't get emotionally involved until you get a handle on it as it is not fair to her.

If you let her go then do it gently for your sake but most importantly her sake and any guy who comes after you. This will have a long lasting effect on her.

Either way she has to do what's best for her life whether that means moving or staying. I always tell women to choose their priorities over me, it's only fair, and if she chooses to leave then we are both better off as I see it.

SirKolbath · 2018-10-24T17:10:20+00:00

She does not ever give you ultimatums. Hard next.

BuckNekkid18 · 2018-10-24T17:46:09+00:00

Next her.

Giving you ultimatums and don't let her move in unless you're marrying her in the next 6 months to a year.

DadOnDabs · 2018-10-24T21:13:43+00:00

Nothing good ever comes from an ultimatum

FireDrillem · 2018-10-24T16:43:15+00:00

“Eventually all women go left” A wise man once said...

You have to be Red Pilled on steroids in order to maintain that level of attraction while cohabiting. Understand the risks, protect yourself, keep a formidable back up plan, Don’t over invest, always be prepared to walk away. If you must dive in, enjoy her temporal, fragile and shallow “love” while it lasts and then take the pain of her eventual dark side emerging as medicine for your soul. Don’t take her bullshit personally. Learn your lessons. Grow up.

SmamelessMe · 2018-10-24T18:49:23+00:00

Provided that she knew your stance on cohabitation before following you, this sounds like a plan on her part. She thought she would be able to manipulate you into cohabitation in the end. GTFO.

But if you sprung the no-cohabitation preference on her only after she moved to be with you, you need to decide if you are willing to compromise, or not. Not to mention that if you were upfront about this, you would avoid this situation.

Clearly, you are both at different places in your life. She is looking for attachment and wants to play family. You on the other hand are working on your mental health. She needs to do the best for her, you need to do the best for you.

Also, it's only ultimatum if she's using emotional pressure to achieve your goals. From your post it seems she told you her expectations of the relationship you are having, and her unwillingness to compromise her expectations anymore.

HumbleTrees · 2018-10-24T21:46:13+00:00

It's as simple as "do you want her to live with you?" If you do then it's your decision. If you don't, then don't let her strong arm you into it like her little bitch boy. It's your life man. You take control of it. Don't do shit to keep her. Do the shit ubwere going to do anyway and she's welcome along on the ride but it's your decisions all fucking ding dam day long.

silverbullett · 2018-10-25T01:59:46+00:00

It’s unreasonable to expect her to commit to plate status for the next five years. Graduate school is a large financial commitment and it’s understandable that she wants to have more of a support system in place since she followed you away from home and family. Living with your partner is much safer than with strangers.

Does agreeing to move in with her equal a five year or marriage commitment? No it does not. If things don’t work out you can always bail when the lease is up. But honestly she sounds like a keeper.

streetlecture · 2018-10-24T18:38:40+00:00

Let your wings spread and fly away brother.

m03svt · 2018-10-25T05:20:01+00:00

Lol honestly you sound like a weirdo piece of shit,you don’t really enjoy being around her or fucking her but you allowed her to move cross country for you. You sound like you’re secretly convinced you won’t be able to find another woman that will put up with your shit if this one leaves,so therefore you’re just keeping her around for convenience. Do her a favor and let this girl go,she deserves better.

derrtderr · 2018-10-24T22:12:47+00:00

Later toots.

Title	LTR of 1.5 years moved across the country to be with me, wants to move in together as condition for staying
Author	CD_Johanna
Upvotes	7
Comments	12
Date	October 24, 2018 4:06 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9r1041/ltr_of_15_years_moved_across_the_country_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-of-15-years-moved-across-the-country-to-be.135612 https://theredarchive.com/post/135612

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