How to not get jealous when my friends pick up and I don't?

2013-08-01T20:59:53+00:00

Be geniunely happy for them. The girls will come.

2013-08-01T19:58:51+00:00

I got and still can get this bad. Especially when one of your friends takes to game like a duck to water and you have been trying for a while and can't seem to get results, the immediate response is to go "well fuck this shit then" and blame everything on external influences such as looks, dress sense, weight etc.

You have to understand a few things though.

1) This whole process isn't a race with others to see who gets the best results quickest. The only race we are running is our own, treat it more like an endurance run with yourself rather than a sprint against others. Doing anything other than concentrating on yourself is detrimental to your quest to become an honest alpha male.

2) Some people just have lucky nights, trust me I've witnessed a buddy who just started this, make out with a girl within about 5 minutes of being on the dancefloor and feed on the validation he got for the rest of the night and felt great and pulled another girl again later on in the night.

3) You can't learn without failures, every time I go out I notice what I do wrong and try to correct it the next time (made a lot easier if you stay kinda sober). Being an approach machine who gets rejected 20x will teach you more about yourself than pulling the first girl you lay eyes on. Chances are she would have been receptive to you anyway, so game wouldn't have mattered at all.

What you need to do in future is think "It doesn't matter where everyone else is in terms of results, I am here for me". In addition learn to embrace the failures as lessons and just remember even if you didn't make out, get a number from a girl, take a girl home or whatever you were braver than most guys out there to actually approach, especially if you are just getting constantly blown out. You show more vulnerability.

itseemstoberaining · 2013-08-01T21:54:40+00:00

There are some unhelpful beliefs causing that jealousy.

Finish this sentence:

When my friends pull and I don't, then that means ...

What comes to mind? What does that mean? And I don't mean the desirable answer, but the real answer.

Ajbern · 2013-08-02T04:02:34+00:00

This happened to my roommate today, he picked up his dry cleaning, noticed the same hot girl working the register and commented on her hair saying it "looked great down" and SHE gave him her number. He even told me he was lucky, and it definitely spiked his confidence up compared to since we moved in. I'll admit I was a bit jealous since I've been trying harder in my opinion with woman and it came so easy for him. However, I know it's not fair to think like this because it's selfish.

I think the best approach to dealing with this is to think of the bright side, which is learning what they did to get a girl's number and the potential for said friend to bring around the girl's other girl friends.

EndOfTheUniverse · 2013-08-02T13:12:37+00:00

It's not about comparing yourself to them. It's about comparing yourself to you. Let go trying to be the better. Be happy for them.

Title	How to not get jealous when my friends pick up and I don't?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	August 1, 2013 7:26 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jiiqj/how_to_not_get_jealous_when_my_friends_pick_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-not-get-jealous-when-my-friends-pick-up-and.1356210 https://theredarchive.com/post/1356210

Comments