So I went to a friends party last night; call her Blah. Blah was celebrating a work event at a bar. I don't work with her, so I knew the party would be all strangers.

I've been working out a lot lately, so I threw on a tanktop, took some condoms, and left for the party. I want a relationship, but last night I was looking for something of a more temporary nature.

At first everything was golden. I spent a few minutes talking to one girl named Foo only in english and pretended I didn't know the local language. We all cracked up when she found I speak the local language too. She asked me my age. I asked her how old she was. She pretended to be insulted. I ignored her. She told me she was too old. I said yeah, half-joking. She stopped talking to me. Did the lady get genuinely insulted? Maybe. I looked around the party for more action.

I introduced myself to another chick, Bar, who I immediately decided I liked. We spoke for a little while - mostly chitchat about who I was and how I ended up at this party where I knew almost no-one. RAN OUT OF SHIT TO SAY. I jumped over to Blah's boyfriend and talked about his business. I made a few jokes. Some girls nearby laughed hard. I RAN OUT OF SHIT TO SAY AGAIN, SO I JUMPED.

I had a beer. I met a few more chicks and promptly forgot all their names. I went back over to Foo, but she was still angry with me. I talked to Bar for a bit. I tried to build a connection, to discuss her life. She told me she liked horsebacking riding, etc. We talked for a bit and then I went around looking to meet some more people.

I met more people. Talked again to Bar, but she seemed cold, didn't want to talk. I was surrounded by HBs yet I had no idea what to do. I was like a kid left alone in the candy shop, but too short to reach any of the candy. I left the party and walked around the rest of the bar. Despite being a meganerd, I have ZERO AA, so I introduced myself to two chicks sitting alone and totally bombed. Didn't bother me. I tried again immediately and had better results...

A girl decided I was a foreign athlete competing in a local event. COOL. I went with it. Her friend started pulling her away. "You're drunk", she said in the local language. "But he's a hunk," the drunken babe replied. I followed them. Sat down at their table. Lifted up the babe and put her on my knee. The friends banded together and made me leave. I couldn't isolate the babe.

I met another chick I liked outside the party. I asked her to dance in order to isolate her from her friend. She wanted to remain and smoke. I talked for a bit. The conversation fizzled off. I left, told her we would dance later. When I returned she still wouldn't dance.

I found a group of 18 year olds. I'm 21, so I decided to go for it. It was half guys. I asked for permission to sit. A girl said no. I sat next to her friend. She asked me to leave. I ignored her. Talked about shit with the girls and guys. I broke in. The chick who wouldn't let me sit told me I could stay if I gave her a piece of gum. Said no and stayed anyway. But I didn't know what to do next. I was out of random chitchat to make about their lives. So I ejected and went back to the party, slightly depressed.

I hung out for a while, said goodbye to Blah and went home.

I'm going out again tonight. Help me get laid. For science.