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[–]priceoflurkers 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Don't use freezing out as an attempt to get her closer to you. When a girl mentions her ex and especially that they aren't over them you can either respectfully tell her that you understand. That she seems awesome and to give you a call whenever she feels ready. Don't go on second date, don't text, it will just get you deeper into the friendzone.
Or you can chose to ignore it and try to charm her into you using twisted reasoning. Tell her that you find her too irresistabe to leave alone, that she wouldn't have kissed you if she didn't feel the connection. That the past is the past and that she are too young and free to morn a break-up. That you aren't saying hey let me be your boyfriend, that you are just saying spend time with me, let me make you laugh and be happy. You know that there is a saying in ancient china "woo choo laau moo boo" well I don't speak chinese but they had it all figured out. So how you like my speech should I carry on or may I kiss you?
You know, improvise but don't freeze out. Cats do that.
[–]ss33o23 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm not going to tell her she's too irresistible to leave alone, because she's not. She's a nice girl who I enjoy spending time with, but anything about being too irresistible would be a complete lie. Perhaps I shouldn't have gone on the second date, but I did, and I can't change that. I have to deal with the situation as it lies now. Making some big speech about how irresistible I think someone is seems like a pretty dangerous idea to someone who has already stated that she doesn't want to get too close.
[–]priceoflurkers 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well it was just more of a creative banter speech I gave to demonstrate what you can do if she told you she wasn't over her ex. Don't take it word by word you should of course always tell her stuff that is genuine. Then tell her she's a nice chick and you enjoy spending time with her and go on.
Yeah it is dangerous, but that's the point. You win or you lose, you show her something new, something exciting. You know you can't score if you don't shoot, or you would have just left her alone without trying anything. In which case my first advice which is the one I stick to when the girl isn't amazeballs.
[–]ss33o23 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough. I appreciate the advice, brother.
[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You should freeze her out before she freezes you out.
Too late.
Fair enough. I am very aware that it is likely over at this point, but I feel like something of a freeze out is the best chance I have at this point.
[–]slcjosh 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Quit being such a poon and just move on. Don't text her unless she reaches out first. You already said she's not that amazing, she told you he was Hung up on an ex (whether she is isn't the point, it was a huge shit test and I don't think you passed). To pursue her any further after what happened on your last date would be really beta. Just move along. If you stop talking to her you can re adjust the frame that she desires you, or she won't talk to you anymore. Either way you win.
[–]sonas8391 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
It's when I read things like this that I feel like I am completely out of touch with my generation. I don't even know what half of this jargon means.
[–]ss33o23 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Ill be happy to clear any of it up if you tell me what you don't understand.
[–]sonas8391 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I mean I can figure out what "freeze out" means from context clues. Kino? I mean this in the best way possible, but it just sounds kinda bro-douchey. If this girl is still hung up on an ex, then by no means should you push anything. But have you tried being up-front about intentions? Any sort of interaction should be as honest as possible with someone your interested in, in my opinion. Even if you're not looking for anything exceptionally serious, it might be at some point. Why not start off on the correct foot?
[–]ss33o23 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've been honest with her. I told her I wasn't the type of person to get into anything serious (true) and that I didn't want to be merely friends. That's pretty much the extent to which things have really happened with her.
As for terminology, kino means general physical contact. It's pretty standard across the sub, so I just used the jargon that seems to be the norm.
[–]sonas8391 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gotcha. I apologize if I came off as insulting :P
But yea, I would back off from anything more than platonic interest for now. As a woman myself, she needs time. She might feel like she owes you something, which is never a desired outcome. Just let her figure it out, you keep doing you, and if she is ready and you're still around, then hey, everything worked out better than expected!
[–]kingcal 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Freeze out means to cut off all physical, sexual contact. It's mainly a tool for fighting last minute resistance when you're trying to sleep with a girl. It's not really going to work if she's not that interested in you in the first place, which is exactly what this sounds like.
[–]ss33o23 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I appreciate the honesty. I am very aware of the possibility that she's not into me. If that's the case, I am fine with just moving on and getting past it. What I'm trying to get at with the post is that I don't think actively pursuing her would yield positive results. If you (or anyone else) thinks differently, I would love to hear why.
If freezing her out (per se) causes it to be over, at least then I know, and I focus on other girls. No big deal.
[–]kingcal 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well, when she's not interested nothing will yield a positive result.
The best thing you can do is move on, but maintain a friendly relationship in case you run into her in a bar. Then you can use her as a pivot to meet her hot friends.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kino (ostensibly short for "kinesthetic") is just an easy way for this community to say "non-sexual touching". Telling guys to "make sure you touch her a lot!" conveys a much different action than "don't forget to kino". But yeah, sometimes the jargon overwhelms the message.
In any case, OP, this girl has baggage. You can either deal with it and keep at it (doing such things as what /u/princeoflurkers said), or let her go and find herself because it's not worth your time. Freezing out would be inappropriate because if you do it, she's not gonna come back.
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[–]priceoflurkers 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ss33o23 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]priceoflurkers 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ss33o23 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ss33o23 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]slcjosh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sonas8391 0 points1 point2 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]ss33o23 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]sonas8391 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]ss33o23 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sonas8391 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kingcal 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ss33o23 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kingcal 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link