I just noticed that self-esteem and confidence are above sexual intimacy on Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. Maybe this illustrates the difficulty men have with beginning to learn game, and the focus on sex seen in both selling pickup, and the early history of the modern art. Women want men who have high self esteem and confidence, but one of the prerequisites to achieving that is sexual intimacy. Thus the can't get what you don't have paradox.

Does this make sense?