tips for a slow thinker

PuA_Jeff · 2013-10-20T21:55:05+00:00

You don't need to respond to everything instantly. Take your time.

Alternatively, speed things up. Start going with your gut instead of thinking about every little detail.

Find a happy medium that works for you.

If it helps, learn some canned game, so when you do run out of ideas and feel lost for words, you can just run a couple of routines.

die_igel · 2013-10-22T01:50:30+00:00

There's no such thing as a "slow thinker." Everyone thinks fast and slow. What you associate with "slow thinking" is likely the rational, structured part of your thought.

Your job isn't to "think more quickly." That's not what witty people are doing, anyhow. Instead they've trained (sometimes deliberately, sometimes not) the part of their brain that thinks quickly to have good default habits. The "slow" part of your brain is going to be on full alert when you're in a strange or unfamiliar situation, so one solution is to make the situation less strange or more familiar.

For example, compare how you drive today versus how you drove the very first time you were behind the wheel of the car. You're still thinking and it's probably easier for you to see it in terms of "different parts of your brain" doing the thinking then vs. today when it comes to driving (vs. dating/seduction/etc.). It's not quite the same because there's a hand-eye coordination thing in driving that isn't present in this situation, but I hope you get the idea.

The reason being drunk "works" in this situation is because it removes the filter that is the rational, structured part of your thinking. You can learn to do that regardless and I bet if you reflect on it you can usually identify those moments where you hesitate, even if you can only do it after the fact.

For me it feels like something coming up through my chest, throat, and mouth only to stop right before it hits my teeth. I might get a little anxious or feel a little tighter in the chest. I might start debating for a second or two whether I should say a thing, by which point the moment has usually passed and the matter has settled itself.

If you pay attention to your body you can tell when this is happening a choose to read it as a sign to act rather than as a sign to stop. As they say in improv, "Follow the fear." Speaking of which, if you want to learn how to do this outside of a romantic context I might suggest taking an improv class.

As an aside, talking about this stuff often makes for fun first date conversation. If a date is going well enough and part way through you ask your date to tell you something they almost said but didn't (in a way that seems non-judgemental), they'll almost always say it. You have now created a space where you'll both feel comfortable saying progressively riskier things without having to worry about how the other person will take it.

Title	tips for a slow thinker
Author	JacquesPomme
Upvotes	3
Comments	2
Date	October 20, 2013 5:41 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oufys/tips_for_a_slow_thinker/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tips-for-a-slow-thinker.1360212 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360212

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