I heard an obese friend say "I'm going to go out after losing weight". What's the best advice you can give someone about not giving a shit about what people think?

nobody2000 · 2013-11-11T05:16:11+00:00

Why waste your time? That's the advice I'm going to give.

I was once grossly overweight. I still managed to score a girlfriend (then she dumped me because I was very needy and dependent on her). Thinking I was unable to recapture that in my then-current state, I lost weight for her.

I lost a lot of weight, and became an AFC for a coworker of mine. After hemming and hawing, I got the fucking green light, and didn't seize the opportunity. She began dating someone.

It was then when I realized that if I don't change my attitude, I'll end up losing all my body fat, become super muscular, and realize that my ex'll still never want me back, the girl at work won't see me any differently, and the only sex I'll get is the rare occasion where I'll get blindsided by dumb luck.

So what did I do? I worked out MORE. I watched my diet even more closely.

I began jumping through hoops, working harder, setting goals and meeting them, and killing it all to impress one person.

me.

I also dated and got rejected by a number of women. But the difference was that each rejection - each time a girl ignored my texts, or told me that it wasn't going to work, I recalibrated, and took it as a learning experience.

Imagine where I'd be if I applied that technique when I was fatter? If I dated - and got rejected by women months or years prior. I'd have come to understand the big picture much sooner.

So tell your friend that he's wasting his time by not going out. He needs to get out there, approach, fail miserably, learn, and try again.

Finally, an anecdote about my last two weeks.

I met a cool girl, and we went out a couple times. I fucked up royally by not escalating quickly enough, and we won't be going out again. She told me I'm "adorable and lots of fun to hang out with, but we're not a match." I didn't argue, I didn't negotiate. I thanked her for her honesty, and moved along because there are plenty of other women out there.

And this happened after what I thought was a nice k-close. I pulled her close, paused romantically, smiled, tilted my head and she told me "You should really kiss me now." (like I wasn't going to do exactly that right then and there...).

It sucks. Don't let anyone tell you that a rejection doesn't suck. They all do to some degree. However, it's an opportunity to pause, recalibrate, read up a little bit on some fun escalation and kino techniques, and try it again.

tl;dr - don't waste time. If you're fat and you're waiting to lose weight, you'll just be an amateur when you're skinny. Lose the weight so YOU feel good, but approach women right now. When you actually ARE skinny, then you'll already be a pro. And hell - wouldn't it be nice to sleep with someone now, even if you are obese?

surangasasa · 2013-11-11T15:35:10+00:00

Get a girl you know to fuck him!

CapAWESOMEst · 2013-11-11T04:28:17+00:00

The only person that cares about that is you. Now, her out there and show the world he amazing person you are!

hounddog1991 · 2013-11-11T05:13:11+00:00

We all have our shortcomings, wether it be physical or mental, but the journey to become better versions of ourselves, that should be the goal, to become better, it being with ladies or getting in better shape. Every journey starts with one step

KendraSays · 2013-11-11T05:29:23+00:00

There's so many things that we're evaluated and judged on (race, gender, class, sexuality, etc). It's very easy to read someone's advice about ignoring "all the haters and keep doing what you like", but it's harder to actually get into the mentality. My advice for you or anyone out there that feels as if they're being judged for everything outside their personality, find confidence in yourself. Improve your life rather than put value in "getting" someone's attention as a means to have signficance in life. There's always going to be that one person evaluating you and more often than not, you'll be wasting your time on trying to change their prejudice. However, what you can change is how you feel about yourself. If you're overweight, this doesn't mean celebrate being overweight (try and exercise or eat healthier), but this also doesn't mean you're less of a person and don't deserve respect. You're bald. Well, don't try and hide it with toupees, own it like Patrick Stewart, Vin Diesel, Mark Strong, Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson, Dwayne The motherfucking Rock Johnson, etc. I hope this helps!

CosmicSea90 · 2013-11-11T07:36:34+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7PAYhmoKkA

WonderBoy59 · 2013-11-11T18:45:07+00:00

Key to not giving a fuck, be self validated and become what you need to be to be self validated. For example be what you can take pride in, whether it be lazy, buff, average, anything. If you think you're bomb as hell its probably because you're bomb as hell.

2013-11-13T02:40:37+00:00

There's no reason he is not enough.

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