3 months ago I found trp. Since then I've been lurking on here like no other. Also I read a ton from all the other sites too, that married guy one, heartiste, rational male, all the side material, many books etc.

This body of knowledge has actually saved my marriage, as well as made me a better father to my young kids and leader of our house. I'm 32 and my wife is 27 and we've been married 5 years.

Here's my problem. One of the great contributors here said how he felt like he was doing a good thing (being empathetic) by not paying attention to other women in front of his wife, well I've basically been doing that for the past 5 years. Shunning any and all eye contact or attention from other beautiful women, I thought I was doing this to be true to my wedding vows. When in reality it's because I'm a pussy who felt like I've got a woman why try and be fun and flirty with others? Just your basic fear of rejection and some misguided empathy.

So now that I am trp aware I want to change my personality. Cause this dread game thing already is fixing a fuck ton of things that were seriously wrong even with the little bit of pathetic game I've been doing.

Two things, She loves it, saying how she likes to see other girls checking me out, and also I don't want to cheat on my wife I just want to be seen as a man with options as we all know how important that is.

A few things I've changed.

I am a big guy, muscular and tall and a little mean looking, but, I would always counteract this by trying to show everyone what a nice and non-mean guy I was (And I actually am generally laid back.) well that comes off like a ton of bricks.

I think I'm seen as in-congruent and give off a bit of a weird vibe like I'm trying too hard and they're not sure where I'm coming from.

So that was the past 5 years of my life. But the past few months while choking hard on the pill I started playing the jerk. And it was fucking beautiful. People everywhere expected me to act like this. Before I felt like people had a hard time reading me and responding to me accordingly. They were waiting for me to be domineering and I always disappointed by being a little bitch and trying to fall back to the outskirts and shadows of every situation.

So to my question;

With five years of bad programming, and not knowing how to act (playing a jerk is working but not getting really good healthy interactions with people, which is something I want to teach my kids as well.)

What should be my "go-to" game/frame/mode?

For example I read Roosh Day bang and it sounds good. Elderly game of "excuse me is that a good computer?"

I'm not looking for a number, but just a reason to interact with the girl who has been loitering around and obviously wants me to say something. (If I was single I would definitely go the direct GLL route, cause fuck it, but that's not the end game I'm looking for.)

I've been getting lots of IOI's but its generally because I play the aloof jerk, and not pay attention to anyone.

Also a lot of game techniques feel really corny to me, like a jester or a clown, not like me at all. I've seen guys do this with my wife, teasing and dancing around and it just feels very based off a feminine prerogative world view.

But if I have to tease people then I'll do it. Basically I just want good interactions with hot women (I've been trying to talk with everyone I can now, men, old women, as well as hot chicks to strengthen this muscle) But I would prefer a go-to method of acting, like a jerk works but it limits the amount of interaction and practice I can achieve. I can sense these women wanting to interact and play more but I just got nothing to give them so I stay aloof. Also I try and recreate the wheel on every set with everyone cause I've got no base game or some tried and true lines that work.

tldr, I don't know how to flirt.

Edit:

Rereading it makes it sound like I just want to game and have more fun. I am doing all this out of necessity, I have been feeling massive soul crushing dread for like the last 2 years, knowing this was all going to fall apart and come crashing down leaving me with fucked-up single mom kids who I don't know. Because, hypergamy. I do know for a cold hard fact that she hasn't cheated, but I could forecast the trajectory we were on and it would have likely happened over time. Anytime a dude more attractive walked by she'd be looking, she barely touched me in public (now she's all over me.) Sex on the regular but so many things just felt backwards, felt wrong, like marriage shouldn't be this way and there was nothing I could do to control it, the locus of control was with her.

I thought I had all the boxes checked. Good job, family, kids, helping out in the community but none of it meant shit to her. She was seeking alpha and I could sense everything I built was all just hanging in the balance. Zero appreciation for blue pill sacrifices. I didn't even know what a shit test was let alone have a chance of passing one. I would blabber on about everything that was upsetting me, after hours of me talking through our problems I would finally get a small tidbit from her about what was wrong with our relationship like "I just don't feel pretty anymore, I feel old."

But I also can't blame her, woman gonna woman, I wasn't being attractive cause I was blue pill, sharing & caring etc.