Set Yourself Up For Success

Got caught up writing some stuff in an askreddit post, figured you guys would probably like it too.

• Relationship boundaries: Boundaries are set very early on in a relationship, most often within the first couple of times seeing the person. You have to make yourself vulnerable and portray that you are a sexual person. This can be accomplished by using many of the techniques found in this thread; strong eye contact, teasing, touching, laughing, generally enjoying your high-energy (hopefully) presence. If they reciprocate ANY of the subtle/subconscious attractions and indications of curiosity/intrigue then chances are you can display your sexuality in a trophy case up front and assume its flirting. They don't know you, you don't know them, there are no lines drawn unless you draw them yourself. Think of physical contact as a wall. It's far easier to knock down a wall that is being built than one that's finished with archers posted up top. Archers don't take kindly to people knocking down their wall, but someone usually doesn't mind you stepping over a work in progress.

• Vulnerability: I mentioned earlier about exposing yourself. This also means facing possible rejection. By not stepping on the plank and not pushing boundaries you are establishing yourself as a friendly person that isn't willing to risk losing it all to win it big, merely someone looking for emotional comfort and friendship. The longer you continue down the path the stronger that friendship bond strengthens. Sexual tension starts at day one and force to be reckoned with.

• If you've known the girl for a while and the touching is a new thing, you've established comfort. Comfort isn't always a bad thing. It shows trust on a deeper level. I'm not saying that you can't take down the archers and climb on over that wall once you've established comfort, it will just take a little work repositioning (psychologically, similar to product or brand repositioning in marketing) yourself. As of now, you are someone they feel comfortable exposing their true self (nonsexual as that boundary was never pushed) without fear of rejection or judgment (girls are typically just as scared as you). Relationships are similar to blowing bubbles; if you start yourselves together in an emotional bubble (friendship), it's much harder to attach that physical bubble to make one system of bubbles made up of both a emotional exposition and physical exposition. In contrast, if you start by blowing your bubble as just a physical connection its much easier to burst out. You can also do that cool trick where you blow both bubbles at the same time to create that system, but that takes practice.

TL;DR: You miss 100% of the shots you don't take ^like ^being ^lazy ^and ^reading ^a ^TL;DR