About to go on the 2nd date of my life. The 1st one (which was with another girl) went poorly. What should I do and what kind of mindset should I have to avoid such a disaster again?

doubleTequila · 2014-01-15T07:18:37+00:00

Well i just had a date and at the end the girl told me she got more of a friendly vibe rather than romantic vibe by the end of the date. I think the reasons why are because I didn't kino a lot during the date and because I waited till the end to kiss her. Coffee is dangerous since it is boring and that may make her think you are not date worthy. As for kino you can joke like holding hands to cross the street or saying her hands must be cold and holding them to warm them up. As for the kiss don't wait until the end to kiss her, this is what I did and I regret it like hell, kiss her in the middle of the date! Worst case you get rejected and you can try again later, best case you kiss her. It will also establish you as different from other guys. Make eye contact, this will help establish a relationship or intimacy.

nugsnotdrugs91 · 2014-01-15T07:36:37+00:00

College senior here. I can totally relate, because I used to be you as a freshman.

You're thinking a lot. Which is all fine and dandy here on seddit, but on a date it WILL fuck you over. Just feel and do, don't think.
Do something different and memorable on your first date with a girl. Take some risks and get uncomfortable.
Provide value to her where you actually see value. Empty compliments are transparent and annoying.

I dated a girl for a summer, and we had so much fun together when we went out that people stared at us and we even got kicked out of a few places, but we didn't care because we were enjoying every minute of it.

Focus on enjoyment, not making it a perfect date.

2014-01-15T10:38:28+00:00

What really helped me excel at dates was reading Rooshv's writings on conversation. The main takeaway is you want to focus on learning about the girl, and keep her on the defensive. Ask her questions such as "What do you see yourself doing in 10 years", in order to force her to qualify herself to you. The date should be about you attempting to see if she's worth your time. When I went into dates with this state of mind things went much better for me.

2014-01-16T00:07:56+00:00

Why do we call it "Kino" anyway? Maybe it comes off as less creepy-sounding than "touching"? Anyway, for first dates, I basically ALWAYS do coffee. The great thing about coffee is that it gives you options. You meet up at the coffeeshop, and you can either sit and chat or just start walking around. I never stay in the coffeeshop for long, usually only like 5-10 minutes then I'll suggest going to walk about. I live in Portland, so there's tons of shops to just go walking around through after I get coffee. After walking around a bit, if I like the girl, I'll usually suggest we play a "game". Basically, I get a couple $5, give her one, take her to a place like Target, then tell her she has 10-15min or something to buy me something, anything! But ONLY with that $5. I'll be doing the same for her. After 10-15min we'll meet up outside and see what we bought eachother. You can like playfully text and shit while you're buying her stuff too "You like to baste turkey's right???" I dunno, whatever haha. The point is it's somewhat spontaneous, different, fun, and likely to be something the girl has never done before. Anyway, I shamelessly stole this idea from David Wygant, and it's worked EXTREMELY well for me in the past. This advice is probably too late for you OP, but maybe someone will get some value out of it. GOOD LUCK out there.

HappyJerk · 2014-01-15T15:50:12+00:00

You guys like coffee as a first date, right?

Coffee is ok, but wouldn't you rather do something fun? Take her to do something you enjoy doing, like a band or something.

Is there something I should do afterwards?

Um, bang her?

Here is how you probably went wrong. On a date, the man has to take complete charge. He needs to plan every step of the date, where you go, what you do, and you also need to take control of the conversation. You also need to lay out for her exactly what will happen on the date and where you will end up. To make sure she knows you're confident, you need to talk loudly, confidently, slowly, and assertively. Also, start the kino from the beginning.

2014-01-15T17:14:26+00:00

Definitely been on way too many dates that sound exactly like that one...

Try Laser Tag. It's physical, dark (but not creepily so), kinda nostalgic, sexy, and incredibly easy to kino.

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