How do you get a girl to meet you, without it being a date?

JohnCooperWrites · 2014-01-17T12:45:16+00:00

No no no. It's all in your head. I also live in Europe. I actually did an experiment. I literally asked a girl "Would you like to go on a date with me?" (Yes I am 18+), it was the easiest way to set up a date. We were both looking at our agendas to see what's the best day for the both of us. It was the easiest and fastest date ever.

I like to take risks and experiment, but if I want to go on a date I actually prefer to ask if she'd like to go have a drink with me. Normally they know what's the deal. (that it's a date).

The only exception to the rule is if you're extremely indirect and then ask for a drink. Then it's possible that she thinks you're just friends.

O3EAN · 2014-01-17T11:19:59+00:00

I don't think it's the fact that you asked her on a date that made her cringe, it was highly probable that you fucked up at one point and she felt weird rejecting you and/or the way you asked for it was uncalibrated. Don't make broad generalisations about your societies dating culture (sounds like an excuse).

dwilko · 2014-01-17T12:35:03+00:00

Usually I tend not to put too much emphasis on dating and making a big deal because your investing too much into it, Just have a conversation and if anything flows either try to find out when she's free without pushing to eliminate the response of I'm busy, When you find out she's free or along them lines, just say I'm going be in town on "day" we should meet up for a drink/coffee. If she doesn't meet or flake next her or call her out on it. If she persists she ain't worth the effort. Alternatively go out doing your own thing and invite her along, shows value and non investment of making it about her.

HappyJerk · 2014-01-17T14:06:55+00:00

I'm not from Europe, so I can't speak to that culture, but I would imagine that anywhere where "dating" is awkward is because women have too much power in social interactions. Anybody would prefer that a date not be called a "date" because it it less formal and puts less pressure on them and makes them make less of a commitment. If you're just "hanging out" then its totally cool if she flakes, talks about other guys, etc... But as a man you don't want to waste your time on those bullshit interactions. You want to put a lot of pressure on the girl and let her know that you want something formal. Think about it: If Brad Pitt lived in Norway and he asked girls on "dates" would they cringe?

Taigore · 2014-01-17T15:28:55+00:00

It can become awkward if not done right.

I've asked out a girl once, and she was totally uncomfortable. That's because, even if I was confident and assertive, I simply skipped all the important attraction building, comfort and touching beforehand.

However, I asked another girl out, with which I spent a bit of time with some touching, talking and eye contact, even in a public environment (acting class.) When I asked, she refused just because she already had to go out with her friends that evening (I do know that was true.) There was no awkwardness at all, and I actually have her number, taken in the same occasion.

I'm italian, so it's definitely in Europe.

Mouthpiece · 2014-01-17T16:49:06+00:00

Don't ask girls on dates. Go do something fun and awesome, and tell her she's welcome to come along. And if she doesn't, then proceed down the rest of your options (you've got several, right?) until one accepts.

Title	How do you get a girl to meet you, without it being a date?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	6
Date	January 17, 2014 11:07 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vftya/how_do_you_get_a_girl_to_meet_you_without_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-get-a-girl-to-meet-you-without-it-being.1364598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1364598

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