How to make friends in University? Out of ideas.

social_scrying · 2014-02-25T21:38:24+00:00

What you are addressing is a MASSIVE life skill to have. Everyone has problems with going out and making new friends. I will try to skim the surface for you.

The question you are asking is how do you build a relationship with someone else, regardless of gender, while abiding by social norms. Ask yourself, why are sports teams a good place to make friends? No seriously, answer the question.

In short, people build connections with one another through isolated shared time and polarizing experiences. Each of these adjectives is very important:

Time: the more time you spend around someone, the more comfortable you are around them, thus the more information you will feel comfortable sharing with them, creating "shared information secrets", essentially. You relate to one another more than you relate to strangers, thus a strong connection.

Isolation: have you ever gone out and done something with 4 or more people together? Emperically, your group will bond together, but the bond wont be as strong as if it was just you and one other person. A one-on-one relation with someone else is as strong as it gets for relation building.

Polarizing experiences: It doesnt matter if you are having a fucking great time or a fucking terrible time, you will build a relationship with whoever you are sharing that experience with. This is why sports are fantastic, because you get the best of both worlds: winning and losing are both polarizing events on either end of the spectrum as well as time commitments, centralized around on a shared interest.

Why it is necessary to understand these ideas: This is how you choose what events you should go to. That mid day mixer where everyone stands around and casually chats? a positive experience, but not polarizing. The community service making arts and crafts? Good/bad, but not polarizing. The community service building a house all day with others, sweating your ass of, and the lunch is late? Bad, and very polarizing. Also a gold mine for relationship building.

Just an example: I used to be a college freshman orientation leader. The other groups did mundane shit like sit around and play the name game. I took them to go see the movie 'Parannahs in 3D' instead. It was the worst fucking movie I have ever seen in my entire life. A bloody porno with bad acting, and cliche stereotypes. Everyone hated it, some left the theater. But my group couldnt stop talking about it for the next 2 weeks straight. Very bad, very polarizing, very good for relationship building.

Or go find someone to do a bunch of drugs with you. That's a good experience, polarizing, one on one, and a time commitment. Then get addicted together, that's a a bad experience, polarizing, and one on one.

Now my question to you is, how do you think these concepts apply to the realm of seduction? (rhetorical)

themanbat · 2014-02-26T00:55:49+00:00

First of all try harder with roommates. You essentially are going going to have to ask those fuckers out. Social people in college make friends during freshman year and room with them. Your roomies are likely the leftovers so you will need to work on em.. Every time you are going out to get a burger say, "Hey dude. I'm getting a burger. Want to come?" Eventually they will come. Go out and buy a bottle of booze or ice cream or something to share and say, "hey roomie! It's ice cream Scotch and movie night time!"

Second, since you missed the natural college friendship forming period (freshman year) you are going to have to create new opportunities. Throw a party and invite everyone in your building or block. When they get there say hello to everyone you can. Don't know how to throw a party? Booze and junk food and music. Join a club or beer league sports team. You also might want to start a club. Something where other lonely people will come and look to make friends. If you are the leader they will look to you and you can ease them into the friendship.

Still frustrated? Too chickenshit to do any of that? Fucking go on Craigslist or someplace similar online and say "hey I'm looking to make friends." See where it takes you.

transcollegiate · 2014-02-27T00:53:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How to make friends in University? Out of ideas.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	14
Date	February 25, 2014 8:08 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1yx502/how_to_make_friends_in_university_out_of_ideas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-make-friends-in-university-out-of-ideas.1366639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1366639

Comments