I behave completely differently around different people & social sets. Anyone know how to change and become my optimum self?

singeblanc · 2014-03-16T02:26:32+00:00

There's an idea that "you are the seven people you surround yourself with", so spend more time with the group that you like yourself best with, and over time that will become your default persona.

epicshift · 2014-03-16T15:00:57+00:00

You need to identify the root cause and triggers for your behavior. Once you identify this root cause you then correct it. In your case it's probably due to a traumatic experience at some point that made you feel unsafe in some way in certain social situations.

vehissu · 2014-03-16T15:30:09+00:00

You have an investment in who you are in your existing social circles, you're more sedated / more shy / more whatever, but you've always been 'that way' around those people, so it's natural, auto-pilot sort of behavior. I've noticed a similar thing, where when I go out solo, to a different city / different club where I don't know anyone, suddenly, I'm not stifled, flirting hardcore with everyone, I'm in set and girls are coming over and opening me trying to drag me away.

Heck, I took one of my friends out with me in a different city, I'm going out, approaching girls, he's like what the fuck dude? Like where did this behavior come from? When you're surrounded by a comfortable social group, you aren't forced to go out and be awesome, when you meet new people, you can be whoever you want to be, you don't feel like you need to be x around these people and y around these other people, you're just yourself.

Short version, your friends are holding you back basically, they provide comfort and safety in social situations provided you play the 'nice guy' role you've played for a while. Either start consciously changing your behavior around your friends (either they'll notice and be like that's awesome, which is awesome, or notice and be like that's shit dude, in which case fuck them off they're not your real friends), so when you're with your friends, you're who you are and you're not stifled.

Title	I behave completely differently around different people & social sets. Anyone know how to change and become my optimum self?
Author	ESGSanders
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	March 16, 2014 1:44 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20itpo/i_behave_completely_differently_around_different/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-behave-completely-differently-around-different.1367621 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367621

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