Hey seddit, been a while since I've properly been on here so excuse me if this is a topic that has come up before, also this is a bit of a patchwork quilt of a ramble so if the ideas do not come together coherently I do apologize but I will try my best. Also sorry if you thought the title was some story about banging a chick whilst out rambling using a patchwork quit, couldn't think of a better title.

I've been following the whole pickup situation since about 2012, so whilst not being a massively long time its been enough time to consume at least an intermediate level of knowledge. I've consumed everything from the basic old school pick up to the modern schools of RSD and Mark Manson, so I feel as though by this point I should be able to navigate the world of pickup pretty successfully. However parallel to learning all of this I have witnessed a vanity driven success, not from my self personally but my peers. This creates a cognitive dissonance within me.

To elaborate I sometimes feel that no matter how much I improve my weight, clothes etc it will not help me at all due to lack of social reinforcement about my looks whilst simultaneously feeling that due to my poor practical game in comparison to my pretty advanced theoretical knowledge that looks matter more. Needless to say i'm in a bit of a headspin and a funk in regards to women.

All of this has led me to believe everything that seduction tells me not to. I think women can sense that i'm a little off due to my mental illnesses (despite them being quite mild), almost like I give off an unpleasant scent that puts them off. I believe that i'm not a good looking guy, this one is the hardest one to shake off, I live everyday thinking that i'm not good enough due to my looks despite KNOWING that this mindset is the complete opposite to success. I feel that my nature isn't right for attracting high value women, i'm introverted and like structure whereas it seems women like men who are spontaneous and outgoing. All this negative self-talk has effectively emasculated me a as a younger male even though I know it shouldn't...I can't control it.

Anyways the point of this post is to hopefully reach out to anyone who has ever been in this position and how they eradicated it. I'm not asking about how I become a Lothario, i'm just asking how I can be comfortable in my own skin when it comes to this stuff.

Any help is much appreciated.