My plan is to live overseas, and this sticking point has stumped me with many partners. I'd really love some help.

Opportunities for me to move abroad have usually happened mid-point in happy, long term relationships.

I know I should apply all the usual alpha signals to get my partner to come. I should be fine to move alone, if they came or not.

Yet, in reality this has always been very difficult. A undertaking like this takes months or years of small, collaborative steps. It involves necessary negotiation, such as which city, leaving family, and her applying for new jobs. And however good my game stays, relationships necessarily become a bit "softer" and "kinder" after a significant number of years together.

Whatever my mistakes, my attempts to move have always ended in frustration, arguments and break-ups... of otherwise ideal relationships. Hooking up and finding relationships are easy compared to this!

I'm about to give up, and stay single until I'm abroad. But I thought someone here might have some insight. Is there any way to apply smart relationship dynamics to something like this?