After 3 years of oneitis I am at a loss for what I should do.

2014-10-28T19:35:19+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BrinksNY · 2014-10-28T18:46:08+00:00

Here's some videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNovswAlmio&list=PLGprU7kMUm-pBU4uOBmgDo2R2-wS2mJYG

I personally know how you're feeling, because damn does it sound exactly what I went through with my oneitis. A few questions:

I just don't want to lose her.

Why?

I just want her

Why?

not being able to pursue anything without her mocking them

Elaborate.

bc I'm afraid of becoming unmotivated

Why do you say this?

2014-10-28T21:39:28+00:00

You need to sit down and tell her this.

Honestly, she needs to hear it, and you need to hear her side. You need to have enough self-confidence to say "Either she accepts it, and I can go on dating. Or she doesn't, she's out of my life, and I can go on doing what I want to do."

Sitting around moping because you got to screw her a few times 3 years ago will lead to nothing but suicide. You need to get OVER her. You're completely dependent upon her right now for emotional support.

Make new friends. Make YOUR friends, not hers. You two aren't together. She doesn't owe you anything, and you don't owe her anything. What she says about the girls your with shouldn't affect you at all.

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-10-28T21:54:04+00:00

Actions have consequences and it is not your job to push specific consequences (like getting her fired) or to shield her from any consequences.

You need to cut all ties to her and move on. You felt like you had to cling to this woman because she was the best you will ever get. But she wasn't. She sensed you were needy so she walked all over you like a doormat, and she knew she could get away with it.

You projected all your hopes onto her, only to discover she wasn't the person you thought she was. You should read this essay to see how self-destructive that is, and what to do about it.

There are plenty of women out there who will love you and be loyal and fulfill all your fantasies. But you're not going to meet any of them, as long as you are blinded by your feelings for your ex. Stop moping about the old woman and find a new one.

zanpher717 · 2014-10-28T23:03:08+00:00

This may not help but I will say it anyway. I had oneitis for about 10 years. Similar to you, a good friend, we smoked together, hung out, did small trips, both in the same circle of friends. But it wasn't going to happen. I obsessed over her.

But it only took one other girl to get me over it. I met a girl online and we hit it off, one of those relationships that have you head over heels right away. I was over my oneitis right then. This new girl, it never worked out in the long run, we dated for 8 months and both moved on. I did not get resurgent feelings for this other girl.

So long story short, New Pussy heals all. (Easier said than done, but go out looking for it.)

2014-10-28T23:04:01+00:00

If you are not sure how to cut her out or how to keep her, just forget about your backstory and tell her how hot she looks today and see how she responds. You have to keep a sexual frame. If she likes it, go for it and fuck her, awesome.

If she doesn't, then you know that she is not interested in you sexually. That's completely ok. This way, if she doesn't like you sexually, you won't hang out for longer, because everytime she is around, she knows she is "in danger" and that you will touch her.

Women like that though, so if she simply doesn't like your advances, you know that you will never be together.

mistahARK · 2014-10-28T21:35:21+00:00

You need to stoo being a bitch, and do something shocking. I'm serious.

Make up your mind that next time you see her, you are going to lay some game down. You are goimg to escalate, and you are going to kiss her.

If she goes for it, then you're in. Don't you dare fall back out.

If she doesn't dont you dare apologize. Own that shit, and let her know that you simply can't be just her friend anymore. You want more, and you cannot and will not pretend like you want less.

You have to be ok with losing her to get her, and let's be honest, you don't want to just be her friend. The pain you feel when you think about losing her is far less than the continued pain you will feel by not being yourself around her. And you want to be with her, romantically.

Stop mulling over this. Take action, and stand by it.

Title	After 3 years of oneitis I am at a loss for what I should do.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	October 28, 2014 6:35 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2kldmt/after_3_years_of_oneitis_i_am_at_a_loss_for_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/after-3-years-of-oneitis-i-am-at-a-loss-for-what-i.1378727 https://theredarchive.com/post/1378727

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