I was watching a RSD Julien video and I came across a point that struck my brain with the weight of a thousand Oprah Winfrey's, it practically crushed me.

"You already know about this shit you've seen what can happen. Once you go down the rabbit hole...there's no going back." - RSD Julien

He's right there is no such thing as going back, if you can't approach a girl you can quit but deep down you know you are letting yourself down and there will always be in the abyss of your mind a broken record reciting.

"I wish I could approach, I wish I could just approach"

That's how I felt when I decided to give up game. When I gave up I had to rationalize why, with things like it's unethical, manipulative, for douchebags and misogynistic. I even posted that I quit PUA in r/askwomen and r/oney; subreddits that provided me comfort with my deep shame and failure.

Once I gave up game, I felt good but this feeling was only on a shallow level. I felt free that I was no longer under the pressure to approach and work on myself. My skills started to slip and my old habits were slowly creeping their way back. Like water seeking an escape from a dam by flowing through the smallest of nooks and crannies. Eventually the dam crumbled and I reverted. I stayed in a lot more and became a recluse. I did go on dates but I was not coming from an attractive mindset and therefore my dates were nothing more than first base. My mindset during this time was attraction is fake and nothing about game is real. The only good date I had was the one where I applied some game, then I listened to my girl roommates advice telling me to pursue after the girl I went on a date with and as a result I came on way too strong and lost the girl.

Just recently I got a job soliciting on the street, a major part of the job is that I have to get rejected. I approach around three hundred people in a day. As a result the installation bar for destroyingapproachanxiety.exe is now at a 50% instead of a 20%. Since I've started this sales job I've become drawn once again to the world of seduction, it started with reading Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends And Influence People in a search for sales advice. Once I was done with HTWFAIP I drifted to the more spiritual Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

The Power Of Now drastically helped with my life and my sales. I had some of my best days in sales when I listened to The Power Of Now. Everything was going great, I was selling well and even started to pick up girls again. I got a cuties number and she flaked, I had six dates lined up for last week and every single one of them flaked. The day of the second flake I completely tanked in sales, I made fifteen fucking dollars for eight hours of work. I was embarrassed, I didn't even want to go cash in.

I couldn't grasp why I seem to have stagnated with my sales. I was doing eighty dollars a day with a peak of two hundred an fifty which is around twenty bucks profit. Not good. The average should be three hundred, even on my good days I wasn't hitting the mark. Frustrated, I decided to read a book called Mastery by Robert Greene. The first chapter of the book talks about the first step of Mastery; The Deep Observation phase.

The Deep Observation phase is when you enter a new world you observe and absorb the reality around you as deeply as possible. That's where I decided to enter the seduction world again but this time with a more open mind. Before with seduction I would disagree with everyone's advice but my own, I figured I would know best and I am my best teacher. This is all true but you can learn a lot faster when you learn from someone that has already gone through the process. You can do things yourself but it may take ten years whereas if you learn from someone other then yourself it may take you five years to get to the same position. The learning is faster and quicker.

As a result of this paradigm shift I've started to delve into the RSD material on YouTube. I have all of the videos on my tablet everything Tyler, Julien, Alex, Todd and Jeffy. I will become a sponge and absorb as much of this information as possible. I'm going to take this seduction game serious, analyzing my nights, approaches with deep thought. Starting with RSD as a foundation.

"Pick up isn't something you half ass and expect to get good. You need to eat sleep and live game, everything that is preventing you from becoming better with women needs to be cut from your life. You need to analyze your nights, you need to write detailed field reports and find out what you liked and didn't like about the interaction. Rejection is going to happen so get fucking used to it." - RSD Julien.

With this quote in mind and with my brain listening to RSD Julien for the past day I decided to go out and practice game for the first time in a few months.

The results were nothing spectacular, my goal was just to say hi to everyone and open a few girls. I ended up opening two girls, they weren't that attractive but whatever. As Julien says

"Everytime you talk to a girl you are sharpening the metaphorical seduction blade."

Before I end this post there's two more things I want to go over. NoFap and the content of seddit.

I've been doing NoFap for around a year now. I tend to fap right around two months in and start over. What I've noticed is NoFap doesn't really do anything and porn isn't even that bad. Fapping and porn are fine in moderation, I'm fapping and watching porn every week or every other week and I haven't noticed any changes. I don't think NoFap is placebo effect but masturbating to porn every once in a while won't do any harm. Sometimes I view porn right before I go out to get me horny and wanting to fuck. This method has had some success but that's for another thread.

Seddit, good ole seddit. To most of you that view this you probably look at seddit as a primary means of seduction education, I know I did. Which is kind of a paradox because in my opinion reddit is one of the last fucking places I'd expect to gain good information on how to pick up women.

Open the seddit homepage and read some of the popular posts, a lot NOT all of the posts are complete shit. There's no way to tell if a guy commenting or posting is even good with women or knows what he is talking about. For all we know he could be some neckbeard thinking seducing his waifu is the same as seducing a non-waifu. If you truly want to get good with women go subscribe to a person or group that knows what the fuck they are talking about. For me its RSD for others it may be Mark Manson, just make sure the information your receiving and applying is coming from someone that can produce results. I've learned more from listening to RSD for two days then I ever did with seddit. You are who and what you hang out with and if you're communicating on seddit you probably aren't going to become killer with women.

Does that mean I'm going to stop posting to seddit? No, I'll still post FR's but I won't take the advice from the subreddit unless its someone reputable posting.

I'm really excited to game, I just got a new place away from my shitty roomates and I'm ready to fucking kill it. Big fucking things to come. Metaphorically AND literally.

On a side note, how is my writing? I spent a really long time creating and editing this post and I would appreciate feedback.