Thought I would share this story for all of you NGBHs (Nice Guys with Beating Hearts), as I am one of those too and am feeling particularly empowered right now.

In a nutshell, I had to go to a cosmetic clinic for nine one-hour appointments and found myself being worked on by an incredibly beautiful, sweet woman with whom I started having great conversations.

The first visit (june) I was impressed and instinctively started DHVing but I was living with another girl at the time.

The second visit (august) was actually two hours, she told me she was recently single and i was really starting to like this girl.

The third visit (october) I had broken up with my girlfriend and was going to get the new girl's number but the clinic was really busy and we were cut short after 30 minutes. next time, I say...

The fourth visit (late november) we had a great hour and I asked her out at the end but she was now seeing someone and it was going really well! Damn!!

I had to regroup and decided I would persist because her relationship was only a couple months old and the other guy lived an hour away, while i was only 10 minutes away. So I said fuck it, I'm not rolling over, and bought her a funny Xmas gift.

Something must have happened on her end too - maybe her girlfriends told her to give me a chance because I lived so much closer, maybe i demonstrated higher value than the guy she was seeing, who knows - but at my next visit, things had suddenly turned in my favor --

The fifth visit (mid-december). She not only loves the gift but she finished her work in 20 minutes and we spent 30 MINUTES JUST SITTING IN THE ROOM TALKING! Real deep, probing, personal talk, like when you're on a date together. When the hour is up she gives me a huge hug and we part. I walk out on cloud nine.

The sixth visit (late december). Another great visit. She finished her work in 20 minutes and we just talk for 40 minutes, building comfort, pair bonding etc. So I escalate at the very end and ask if there's ANYTHING we can do together.

She tells me she has thought about it but doesn't know (because she has been seeing this other guy and she isn't the kind of girl to two-time). She says let me think about and remarks - if we can have fun in this small stinky room, we can have fun anywhere, right?

Sounds like I've got a chance, right??

Well I go back in last week. It's super busy, her bosses are around (they usually aren't) and she is in total work mode. She finishes in 30 minutes, says "sorry, crazy day" and the visit is over. No sitting and talking, not even a great goodbye.

So what the fuck happened?

1) it was super busy and her bosses were around so she had to stay in work mode 2) new years was only a week earlier so she probably bonded with the other guy and our great visits in December were washed away 3) she felt uncomfortable because she said she would think about it but it was too soon to decide and too hectic a day to get personal, so she shut us down

So now I have two visits left and the ball is still in her court.

I was going to go back in a couple of weeks but my sense is I would appear like I was chasing her and that puts her in a position of power where she is basically choosing between the two of us. and frankly, i don't think i will win against a guy who has already spent months wining, dining and spending time with her. i know we click, i know i DHV'd well, I know she is interested in me. But the timing is NOT in my favor. I would say the odds are 50/50 at best.

So I'm playing hardball and I am going to disappear for TWO MONTHS.

my bet is she will wonder where i went. my bet is losing me will MAKE HER FEEL MORE EMOTION THAN KNOWING SHE HAS ME. my bet is when i see her again she won't take me for granted and she will be excited to see me, instead of feeling pressure to make a decision. my bet is their long distance relationship will cause cracks to form.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm better off going back soon after those December visits. Playing hardball means taking a risk. But we all know that scarcity adds value and the one that got away is more intriguing than the one knocking on your door (especially if there is another dude in the picture).

So I'm playing hardball! I'll let you guys know how it goes...