This is my first post on seddit, and I would like to give you a bit of background first.

I am 31 years old, and live in Scandinavia. In my early twenties, I hadn’t heard of game, and I probably didn’t care if someone had told me. I just stumbled around in the underground music scene, and had sex at random when a girl who took a liking to me. Later on I had some LTRs till about my mid twenties. Putting myself out there again, I searched for tips and tricks, and eventually found Game, and read a few books. I had some success, and slept with a few girls.

Then something happened, I don’t know what exactly, but for the last three years I haven’t been with a girl. I haven’t slept with a girl, kissed a girl, talked to girls. I just went into a black hole and disappeared. Just like I don’t know what made me disappear, I don’t know what makes me claw my way out of it. Primal instinct maybe. But I decided to do something about my life, trying to find my way back. I followed a breadcrumb trail, and that have lead me to this forum. Reading through the sidebar posts, I was struck by the sentence, “Pickup and seduction is not a cure for depression, loneliness, low self esteem, or poor health” and below was the link to the book “Feeling Good” by David D. Burns, MD. Reading the description on amazon was almost an epiphany for me. I did not feel good. I have never actually thought about that I didn’t felt good. I have always had, what I would describe as a healthy dose of melancholy, but I never really thought of myself as depressed. I just assumed that it was a personality trait I had. “Feeling Good” became an answer to a problem I didn’t knew I had. Or at least didn’t knew I could deal with. So now I am reading “Feeling Good”, and are tracking my mental development as suggested in the book.

Prior to the discovery of “Feeling Good”, I decided to quit porn, and today is my 30th NoFab day (hard mode). It quickly improved my outlook on things, and before I had thought it through, I had two dates lined up, and more on the horizon. The first date went really well, and I could feel the old less sad me coming back to life. I arranged a second date with her, suggesting “coffee” at her place. Today I went and we ended up making out, but today, coffee was only coffee.

Here is where I stand now. I really want to make this happen, I really want to prove to myself that I can do this. She is really into me, and I think she wants or searches for a boyfriend, and I am not going to be it. I feel that I have a lot of catching up to do, and I want to take whatever Game I have, to the next level. I don’t want to use her just for my own advantage, she is a sweet next door girl, but I am a hungry hungry wolf, and I want this to happen sooner rather than later. So I find myself in a battle between my sexual desires and my morals, and I am about to stick to my morals. To my defense, she haven't said explicitly that she is looking for a relationship, but I have an overwhelming feeling. I also stand with one leg in self-treatment for depression and another in self-improvement using Game. How do I distinguish between the two, or does it matter? Is it self defeating to think of my date as a milestone I desperately want to reach? Should I just go for it, and deal with the consequences or should I be honest with my date? And lastly, how do you deal with girls who wants a relationship, when what you want is sex and nothing else?

I hope all of this made some kind of sense, and I am sorry if I missed something in the sidebar that could help me. Any comments or links to relevant post and articles are much appreciated.

TL;DR. Clawing my way out of depression have lead me to moral questions.