Now re-read the title and see the irony in it.

Scenarios that make me uncomfortable on a scale from 1-10:

  • (4) Walking to class and making eye contact with people
  • (6) Getting in an elevator with someone and coming up with something to say
  • (3) Passing someone in the hallway
  • (8) Eating with one person (even friends) and having to talk
  • (5) Singing in public
  • (10) Smiling at a random girl
  • (14) Saying "Hi" to a random girl
  • (20) Carrying a conversation with a random girl

My confidence issues have been haunting me all the way back to middle school, preventing me from having dates or being my usual self in public.

I have become cynical, lonely, and exhausted.

I complain about my problems, am given advice, and still don't know where to begin or find excuses not to work to improve myself. My brain shuts down when I am in these stressful moments and looks for an escape.

I've tried reading books, I am seeking on-campus free counseling, have started playing guitar, got a job, making straight A's, and still have no confidence.

I follow people rather than lead, and I trip over my words and can only communicate clearly in writing.

Now I pretty much live in my dorm room on the week-ends because I hate parties, have no close friends, and feel safe in the only space in this world that I can control.

I feel truly helpless. Will I live the rest of my life this way? Will I waste the next three years surrounded by a large pool of very attractive girls feeling worried about the world? This is where I could meet my wife. I dream about talking to girls. My roommate is frustrated for me, saying he's gone through this but it took his cousin's unexpected death to wake him up out of it.

Do I need to be traumatized or something?

GAH!!!!!! GET ME OUT OF THIS JAIL!

TL;DR Advice doesn't seem to be working, and I am afraid I am broken.