Ok, so a description of who I am:

I'm a 23-year-old man. My main hobby is making electronic music, which I have done now for about 8 years. I have several projects, but my main one has gotten me about thirty gigs, both abroad and in my home town. I've currently put that project on ice and am now basically starting fresh with other stuff. Music is my passion for sure, and the only thing making me not pursue it more is my job taking up so much time.

I also love photography, something I sadly don't do as much now as before. A lot of photos I have taken have been pretty recognized, but never really reached an audience outside of Flickr and similar sites.

I am super driven to do something with my life. I'm always striving for improvement, trying to get my health better, to learn more, to research everything I want to know more about, and to learn skills I feel are necessary for me. In the last few years I've learnt three languages; although a bit poorly but still, I have been active everyday and learnt the foundations. I've also taken up writing recently, and am planning to release a book.

Exercising is something I also love, even though it could be more in that area. I am slim and fit though, and try do something a few days every week, wether it be running, skateboarding, brisk walking, doing military-styled training or something similar. I also have a passion for water sports, like surfing, but sadly where I live the waves are bad and the water is cold as hell.

I would describe myself as intelligent, an easy-learner, humoristic, always in a good mood (at least shown outside), independent, strong, charismatic, laid-back and relaxed. People describe me as really chill, which I sometimes find hard to believe for reasons I will explain soon (anxiety). I have no idea how to describe my looks, as I don't know if I'm attractive or not, but I would say I am. Not the best-looking guy but above average (gah, feels so weird analyzing yourself... oh well). The anxiety has for sure taken a tull on my self-confidence, so that sucks.

I've suffered with crippling anxiety since almost ten years. Panic attacks, agarophobia, generalized anxiety disorder, depersonalization, derealisation, you name it. I've had every symptom in the book, daily, at an extreme level. It sucked (and still sucks since I still have it to a degree), but has made me develop a really strong character, since I've battled pretty much the feeling of dying 24/7 for about 3650 days. This is the upside of that crap, but as I first got it when I was supposed to be out chatting up girls, hanging with friends and enjoying life, I mostly stayed in my room, too scared to go outside and panicing. I eventually started doing things anyway, but it has been less than I would like to for sure, making me a bit unsocial as I generally feel so drained.

I have never had a girlfriend. Never. I have been close to it two times, once when I was 14 (screwed it up) and once last year (which ended/didn't get a chance to start because I was going abroad for a long time shortly after we met). Although I have been with a few girls, but not that many. The few girls that seemed interested in me (I can really only just think of one right now) are really not my type. The one I'm referring to was a drama-ridden, messed up gal. I ended it quickly before I got drawn in to the madness.

I see all my friends having girlfriends, having a blast and feeling awesome. I know the feeling from last year when I met that girl but had to end it. Happiest I've been in a long time.

Right now I feel like I'm becoming desperate, and I know that's exactly the vibe you do not want to put out while talking to girls. But every fricking time I chat up a girl and I think we are hitting it off (at a bar for example), she says she's not interested or something else happens that makes it end, even after we had a, what felt like, great conversation. It's either that or that they already have a boyfriend. I think I'm too nice of a guy, which perhaps is offputting.

My mantra while battling the crazy anxiety has been to do my thing, get hobbies, strive for self-improvement and eventually the girls will come (and the anxiety will dissapear). That have yet to happen, at least with the girls. I have no idea if some girl likes me right now, at least it doesn't feel like that. It feels like I do pretty cool stuff with my life, and that I am a good, strong person, but how will the girls know?

I have no idea if I should act in a specific way to get the girls, go somewhere, or say something special, but what I do know is that what I'm doing right now (and have been doing) is simply not working.

Can you give me some pointers?

TL;DR: I feel like I'm an interesting person, with good hobbies and a driven personality. Anxiety ruined me socially for a while (getting better now), I've never been in a relationship and I need help before I truly develop a text book "desperate guy" aura. I feel I'm doing the right thing but am clearly not.