Struggling. Just turned 24

BatavianGeneral · 2015-11-07T20:05:22+00:00

Whenever I have no idea how to continue, I simply start focusing on myself and forget all else. I focus on my mental health and my physical state. I treat my body like a kingdom, that is literally it.

Eventually, I will reach a point where I feel satisfied with myself. I will start focusing on people around me from a fresh perspective, and it usually seems as though girls like the ''new'' me.

The best part is that the whole self-meditation thing can be done in just a few weeks, repeatedly. Every system needs some rest every once in a while. Might be something for you to try out.

Not_Brannigan · 2015-11-07T21:52:08+00:00

I was in your boat a couple of years ago. I was really lost, I had no idea who I was, my friend group consisted mostly of stoners (which isn't so bad in itself - I fucking love those guys - but not the best crowd for building ambition and passion into your life) and I could not initiate conversation with anyone. At all. I was pretty sad. I focused on my shittiness for a long time until I realized that all I was doing was just reinforcing my unhappiness. So I did some searching, figured out who I wanted to be and just focused on being that person. Now I've had a fucking awesome girl in my life for over a year and I'm actually fit and (somewhat) healthy and all around digging life.

The moral of the story: focus on what it is that you want. To do this you need to actually know what it is that you want in pretty specific terms. It can still be broad, such as wanting to be happy or more fulfilled, but think about what that really means to you. Think about that person you want to be, that person that you KNOW you can be, and go be that person. If that person is confident then you will be confident. It won't matter if you strike out.

Also some pretty standard advice - talk to everyone. Only approaching chicks at bars and/or clubs is limiting you. Maybe the kind of chick who's going to be into you isn't a bar/club person, and maybe you're not really that kind of person yourself. That's ok. But talk to everyone, male or female, old or young, its gonna build some confidence, and its also gonna make you more comfortable just talking. Not mention that you get to talk about all of the interesting people you meet with all of the other people you meet.

You can do this man. The drive is there, all you gotta do is go out and get to work. Also try some mindfulness meditation, it'll help you clear your head.

WildFox87 · 2015-11-08T01:42:27+00:00

As much as I love Mary Jane, that shit for whatever reason kills my success with women. I had a shame tell me once that it has to do with the herb having a Feminine spirit and it gets jealous with guys talking to other girls. Who knows, but I noticed a definite correlation between smoking and amount of sex I was getting.

Secondly, I think the advice to focus on yourself is solid. Meditate, lift, eat healthy etc.. soon enough everything g else will start falling in place. You're only 24. Tbh, I feel I didn't fully hit my stride until like 27. Once you stop taking these women so seriously, you'll start really getting alot of attraction from them.

Hope this helps!

sfbase · 2015-11-08T02:12:47+00:00

If you problem is talking, perhaps you should work on that first? What do you think about taking acting or voice lessons at your local community college. I've done this, and it's a great way to get over stage fright, and lots of girls take these classes. Plus it allows you to show some vulnerability, and if you are comfortable doing that, everything else will fall into place. Also, consider social dance lessons, like ballroom, swing, and salsa. It's basically all kino at these things :)

Also about the online dating thing, I'm doing this now. When I first started, I met up with a girl I was not really interested in, but I was of a "I need experience" mindset. My attitude going into the set was "fuck it, I'm just going to have a good time." Girl ended up being really into me, ended making out. The point is, it was a huge confidence boost, and it allowed me to go after other women with less pressure. So go after a 6 for now. Honestly you just gotta fake it till you make it. We've all be scared, we've all been there. It's basically a rite of passage. So don't beat yourself up so much. And for fuck sake have fun!

wingflex · 2015-11-08T06:57:02+00:00

Hey man, I turned 24 a couple months ago too.

In high school, I was voted most outgoing/class clown and I took a lot of pride in that. Through the years since, I've been completely opposite AND I'm in a new town barely knowing anyone going to college.

The funny part is, I have very few friends/people I talk to and I don't know why. So today as I was cooking I was thinking about this, and it occurred to me that in high school I didn't give a shit about what I said or what the result would be after I said it, or how people viewed me. I would always make the effort to talk to people that I found interest in, which was mainly everyone, and I treated them with respect and was nonjudgmental if they were a "nerd" or were "cool". And I think that went hand in hand with just saying what was in my head at the current moment. Now days, I think of something really great to say to people in my head, but I refrain from saying it in the fear that I'll "look weird" . In reality, I wind up saying nothing at all and probably do look weird. And there are so many times now where I think, "fuck, why didn't I just say what was on my mind to that random person who looked interesting." It's like there are all of these added up statements that I never say, and writing about it now makes me laugh because dude, who cares what people think of me? If they're cool, we'll get along, and if they're weird, they'll think I'm weird and it wasn't meant to be a friendship.

So I think at this age, it's important to just say to people what is in your head, and overcome the fear of rejection by realizing that if someone is going to reject you based off of your ability to talk to them, wouldn't you then be able to at least say, "Well that person isn't worth talking to." Because I know that if someone comes up and talks to me, I instantly want to talk back to them because they are outgoing enough to talk to me. But the thing may be that everyone in this age right now is afraid to initiate that opener.

I don't think the objective is to wait until we're like, this demigod like person. Nofap, ripped, mentally perfect person who meets a standard of their body "being a kingdom". We're all good enough now and young still, Do it now! (also I wrote most of this to be introspective) but good luck man!

Title	Struggling. Just turned 24
Author	pece523
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	November 7, 2015 7:51 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3rx89i/struggling_just_turned_24/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/struggling-just-turned-24.1397218 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397218

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