I dont think i have ever been as deeply in love with a girl since my first crush. Handled the entire situation very very badly to top it off. Also it didnt help that in high school i was anorexic, ugly as shit, 0 self esteem and my ears were sticking out so i constantly got called dumbo and batman. Not my finest years.

Anyway im gonna keep this short. I basically ogled and stared at her all the way from year 7 to year 11 (UK). And to make matters worse she told every single girl in the class about what a creep i was. I only found out about this when the teacher sat me next to her. Her face went red, and every single girl in the class turned around and looked at her and gave a knowing smirk. Right then and there i knew i fucked up.

I once slyly noted down her number off a friends phone without his knowledge and proceeded to call her and just stay on the line not saying anything until she hung up. Also i constantly bugged her inbox on facebook and got really emotional about her ignoring my messages, always asking "what did i do wrong? Can you please tell me so i can apologise and we can move past this". Not my best times. Granted i was still a kid and i was learning. But still really bad.

Also it shocks me seeing some other guys my age (21) still doing this shit. I was messing around with one of my female friend's phone about 2 weeks ago and saw a guy from our course doing this exact same shit. Basically someone had let slip that he liked her. So he messaged her angrily and telling her off for gossiping about him and whatnot. Even though she really didnt give a shit and wasn't even involved. Then the next day he sends her a grovelling apology saying how much of a cunt he is and how deeply deeply ashamed he is. She ignored his texts and he just got worse and worse asking "please tell me if i upset you? I dont like us not talking". It stunned me seeing what i was like from an outside perspective.

Anyway that was it. Im on the road to recovery and have found my balls slowly over the years since high school. Im now at uni and can talk to any girl without my face going red and stumbling over my words. Thanks to you guys i am now making the next step in my journey to find my balls and am learning how to game. Thanks for reading lol

Edit: looking back at it with the knowledge i have now. She wasnt actually that pretty. She was like a 7.5 on a good day. But my virgin brain just latched on and put her on that 10 pedestal and wouldn't let go...for years.