One year ago I was fresh out of a 5-year relationship, I had been out of the game for quite some time. Since then I've been enjoying the single life and have been actively practicing the art of pick-up. I’ve been focusing a lot on self improvement and I just thought I would share some things I have learned in making the transition back into the dating world. Obviously getting yourself in shape, dressing well, and being able to carry on a conversation are all things that will naturally attract women, but here are a few other things which have attributed to my success.

 

First and foremost: stop taking yourself so seriously. Let go of your insecurities and self-doubt. Confidence is absolutely key. We all know have that one friend or remember that one guy from high school who wasn’t great looking, was out of shape and seemingly had nothing to offer women but still managed to get laid. Its all because that guy didn’t put women on a pedestal. That guy had zero self doubt, and as a result got laid.

 

I like to compare this type of guy to a salesmen selling a crappy product. The best salesmen in the world can sell anything. It doesn’t matter what the product is. They’re successful because they develop connections with people through being confident. What they’re saying to you during their sales pitch doesn’t matter; what matters is that they express no signs of doubt. When someone is confident it tends to make the person more likeable and as a result we strive for them to look at us in the same light. This same idea applies to women, you get their attention with confidence and they crave your attention in return.

 

Next: Be honest and direct. I don’t care if she’s texting you, or you’re out on a date, or you’ve just opened her and she seems interested. Don’t be afraid to compliment her. She can’t read your mind. The hard part is over, you’ve opened her, you’ve got her number, whatever.. the point is: she’s already shown that she’s into you in some way shape or form. If she’s interested in you she’ll want you to acknowledge and compliment her. Being honest and genuine are characteristics we all naturally value in other people, much the same as confidence. Demonstrating these characteristics to her are only going to increase your chances. I think its also important to be honest about your intentions. If you go on a couple of dates with the same girl and you realize things aren't going to work between you two, just be upfront and tell her. It might be hard to do at first, but not only will you feel better after you've done it, it'll also be easier on her if you don't drag it out and allow for a deeper connection to be made.

 

Finally: Don’t be afraid to be persistent, but know when to draw the line. She can’t make that date on Friday night? No big deal, maybe something came up. If she’s still keeping in contact with you (ie. texting), she’s still interested. Don’t just give up because you think she must not be into you (ie. let go of that self-doubt). Try to reschedule at some point. That being said, its important to know when to draw the line. If she seems cold and distant towards you or hasn’t responded to any of your texts/calls in a little while its probably time to just cut your losses and move on. It might not even be your fault, sometimes things just come up and make her unavailable. Once again, don’t let this cause self-doubt.

 

All of these things have helped me greatly over the course of the last year. The things that have helped the most are being cognizant of what I value in others and consciously trying to exhibit these characteristics and working on being honest and genuine with women. These things all help to develop deeper connections much quicker and can lead to some very fun and fulfilling experiences.

Edit: Sorry for the typo in the title.