For the past few days I've been trying to practice being more "warm" to people. I'm not a natural smiler, for most of my life I've always had trouble smiling a good smile. I knew that you had to practice this because it doesn't come naturally for most people, but I just feel so egoist practicing it.

I consider myself a pretty laid back person (maybe too laid back), yet I have this "resting bitch face" for most of my life (think a male version of Audrey Plaza). I have had girlfriends in the past, but I've dated all the girls that I know in my "circle". I want to date girls that I didn't know in high school or didn't graduate from my small town.

The thing is I have become a bit of a loner for the past few years (long story involving my ex) and now I'm almost completely isolated all the time. I need new friends, but I also want a GF. I've been wanting to become a more animated person, but I feel like I am an egoist doing it. I know I'm trying to build up my confidence, but at the same time it just feels like a fake personality. It seems like most girls like this animated personality that I can't seem to muster. When I greet someone I smile pretty slowly instead of automatically like some people and it's not even a full smile. I know I am "handsome" because my past girlfriends have told me that and one girl told me I look like mike patton from FNM, but I have this strange insecurity of being attractive looking. To be completely honest I feel like an insecure pimpled geek inside the skin of a male model and its been that way since high school.