I have a tendency to connect too personally to allow it to just be about sex

onetwo3fakestreet · 2016-02-09T08:48:32+00:00

Nothing is serious until you actually meet in person. No one falls in love just over text even if you're texting every day for months.

You should tell her you don't want anything serious before you have sex though.

goodguygrim · 2016-02-09T05:22:16+00:00

In a similar situation myself. at some point soon the conversation needs to be had about what you want out of the relationship and what she wants. if there is a match continue, if it doesn't then no need to waste each other's time guessing.

MelvinRedPill · 2016-02-09T10:41:25+00:00

You should be asking the question early in your tinder conversation.

"What are you looking for?" They'll tell you and then ask you. "Not looking for a relationship, just wanting to meet some cool people and see what happens really." No expectations from you at that point.

I just went on a tinder date the other day, they were looking for a relationship and I made it very clear on the date I don't like relationships anymore.

She still came over the next night and we fucked. So you know, even if she says she only wants a relationship, just be yourself and be CONFIDENT in what you say. Women are still women, they will still sleep with you if you have good SMV and Game.

They respect the confident honesty.

peepeeparadise · 2016-02-09T19:14:17+00:00

Am I leading her on?

No, you aren't. If you are good at connecting with women on a deep level, keep doing that. It will serve you well in the long term.

Unless you are specifically making promises and breaking them, you are good. This is the artist's mentality. When you read about historically awesome seducers like Erroll Flynn, Picasso, Casanova...they were legitimately in love with all the women they banged, and that's the way it should be. What's the use of focusing your efforts on women you aren't attracted to?

Honest confession: I have spent most of my single years in love with more than one woman at the same time. That is just the way things go. Now, it's not an ideal situation to be in for the rest of your life, it leads to a lot of stress, but you shouldn't shy away from showing your love for one woman just because you have feelings for another (and maybe another and another). Realistically, you are not going to find a woman to marry and fall in love with if you only have one in the queue at a time. Think about it. It's like a two year relationship followed by two years to completely get over the previous one...that's like four years per woman. If you're lucky, you get three or four tries and then you're aged out.

And yeah, obviously don't tell any of the women you are in love with that you are also in love with someone else....women don't understand what men have been through in their lives, and they definitely wouldn't understand the pluralistic nature of a man's desires.

I think I've addressed this before, but don't use the phrase, "I'm not looking for anything serious." Most women consider sex serious, so don't downplay the seriousness. You are serious about her, but you are conflicted. Say something like, "What we have between us is really awesome, but I'm not ready for a relationship." If you feel like things are getting too messy, then say, "I think we should stop seeing each other. I can tell that you are getting hurt, and I don't want to do that to you. But I want you to know that you are an amazing person and that I have enjoyed every minute we have spent together."

JewJutsu · 2016-02-10T20:05:07+00:00

Yeah, don't take texting too seriously. I've had great conversations with women from tinder/okc and the meeting in person just sucked. Then there are those where the opposite happened (currently having one of those possibly).

2016-02-09T05:48:07+00:00

Honestly the headache of sleeping with them then telling them you wanna keep it casual isn't worth it, what I use to do before I got married is be totally upfront, like hey I enjoy talking to you hanging out etc.. But I don't wanna move into anything serious quite yet, its so much easier to maintain. Sex will probably happen if she likes you a lot, but being honest will help keep your spirits high.

I tried to treat them honestly (this will sound gay) How I would wanna be treated in their position, when I liked someone and they would brush me off one day or text back with short answers that sucked, made me feel stupid.

But then again I married one of the girls I did this with and it was the best thing that happened to me, dragging out a relationship make you truly learn about them.

Title	I have a tendency to connect too personally to allow it to just be about sex
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	February 9, 2016 3:09 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/44umdg/i_have_a_tendency_to_connect_too_personally_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-a-tendency-to-connect-too-personally-to.1402167 https://theredarchive.com/post/1402167

Comments