Well today I went to the mall alone and it went horrible it was to TRY to talk to girls. Well I go and I look around and I see a girl alone she wasn't too bad so I was like hey if I saw this girl here and it's only been 10 min there must a whole lot prettier girls waiting so I don't talk to her.

I walk around and I start to notice that all the cute girls have a chaperone like a parent or a brother or something and this is probably a hour in of me just walking around looking for a girl to mack at. So I start to get frusterated and start to go off on a rant in my head about how every girl has a chaperone and how come they don't go alone or with a friend instead lol.

 And it's at this time that I lose it at first I was confident and really feeling it but after this rant I started to lose it and then I started thinking about school tommorrow and how it's going to suck (told my friends I was going to mack) how Chemistry is going to suck and just how much my life is gonna suck.

Then I start thinking about this girl I like (have major oneitis for and it's been like 3 months and still haven't really talked to her.) and that threw me off I just started to compare these girls with her and one of them had similar hair to her and that also threw me off I thought it was her I got scared but I thought about approaching until she moved to the side and I noticed it wasn't her. 

     I saw a guy getting at this girl by this store and she seemed to like the conversation with him and that kind of made me want to step my game up but as I said that rant in my head later threw me off.

I tried that eye contact thing with a couple of girls I would just stare at them one of them seemed interested because she looked back for a while and it was a serious stare not a creeped out stare. Another chick I looked at her in the eyes and she seemed a bit creeped out because I think I gave a serious stare but whatver.

Towards the end I was done I just wanted to get out of there forget about this day and just go chill out. I went to a starbucks table it was chilly so the seats were cold. No one sitting down under a tree so it was dropping leafs. I see this girl and I see stare at her at her eyes she looks back and she looks at me for a bit. 1 minute later I'm looking at something else I think it was the people passing by. And I see her pretending to look behind me and then look at me and then look away. So I was like if she looks at me one more time I will look back and we will lock eyes and I will just walk up to her and talk to her but she never looked back and my dad came and picked me up. Before I left I noticed that this girl that I stared at earlier the day and she seemed sort of interested was being hit on by some guy. The guy didn't seem to be doing good he was talking then looking at her then stopping not to let her talk but just to stop and it was almost a akward silence and then he would go again talking. She was with what seemed some of her friends which is why I didnt approach because Im scared of approaching multiple girls at one time.

So my excuse is that the hot girls aren't alone or at least with one friend they are with their parents or the one that are with friends or alone are too old for me. I am 15 yea old sophomore so I try to look girls around my age.

One last thing there was this girl next to my table right before I was about to leave next to the other girl I mentioned abouve and I looked at her and she looked back but I think I stared to long and I passed the regular staring and made my way into the creeper "staring at me look" she didn't say that but I imagine something like that lol.

What could I do to improve because Got damn this is not good at all not at all I mean like c'mon this aint good this ain't good. Last Last thing is it weird that I had a dream about this girl that I like she was like 10 year old and was with her 5 year old brother I was younger in the dream too (I don't know if she actually has a younger brother I'm not a "stalker") and I saw her through a fence and then I went to just go see her she was on a swing swinging back and forth and I just saw her and it was beautiful is this weird?