• Some people keep asking about my blog (no dating stuff, just self improvement and my thoughts, not gonna sell you useless shit like books) since my forst post. If you want to see it: CLICK HERE!

 

You're gonna need your armour, a sword and don't forget the shield. We're going to the battle, be ready! Cringy enough?

 

Check my previous posts, including one with a conflicting title:

 

 

IS APPROACH ANXIETY EVEN A THING?

Just like with friendzone in my previous post, no it's not actually a thing. You make it a thing. Most of the people here label approach anxiety as something which is actually a very positive sensation in your body, when you see a girl you're attracted to. It's just your body talking - dude, there she is, we gotta talk with her!

Feeling sexually attracted to a woman is all you need! Unfortunately society did a good job on making sure that we jump in our doubtful minds with a lot of limited structure. And ONLY then after we've thought about it from A-Z in our mind, we move forward with our own imagined bullshit about ourselves, interaction and the girl. It's not reality. It's your own fairytale.

 

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? WHY DO I GET IT?

Ask yourself - how do you know you like her? The "approach anxiety" feeling is what it tells you, when you see a girl you like. It's your inbuilt intuition (which knows EVERYTHING about you) and tells you about it on physical or energetical level.

And so far everything is awesome, your body gives you a hint but then you decide jump up to your mind and ask if you should go for it, you think about the sensation your body gives you. Is it lying? Is it worth it? Will I make it? Ouch. Now that is a wrong move.

 

OK, I SEE. HOW DO I KILL IT, DUDE?

Let's understand what is anxiety first. It is simply you making expectations, imagining what is going to happen in the future - silly people didn't know that anxious people are already traveling in time! It's like playing roulette - pure luck to predict it. It is NO way REALITY and doesn't have anything to do with it. It's simply your "what if" fairy tale.

Anxiety is no way comfortable thing and I understand how pain in the ass it is for some people. 2 years ago I've had panic attacks out of nowhere and my health wasn't at it's best - that wasn't approach anxiety though, that was differen't kind.

So how the hell does this come to all the cute girls? So, the feeling you get in your body when you see a beautiful girl is awesome, but then all of sudden you get it up in your mind and go through a lot of "what ifs" which eventually leads you to unrealistic fear.

 

YOU CONDITION YOUR REALITY

We all look at the world differently. It all depends on our self conditioned identity which generally has no relation to reality. Our self conditioned identity and reality is puzzled with our fears, insecurities and all the other "what ifs" that come from our own imagined fairytale.

The real "you" is in the present moment, focused on your body sensations and the way you react to them - not in the mind, thinking all the "what ifs".

 

OK DUDE, BUT WAIT, YOU STILL DIDN'T REALLY TELL ME HOW TO KILL IT.

Simply react before you start thinking about all the "what ifs".

Quote from my first post:

Imagine the WORST situation that can happen. Literally. Like, you walk up to her and all of sudden sneeze into her face as you just was about to ask her out - are you okay with it or will you be nervous and won't know what to do? Maybe you will run? Or just laugh it off and apologize? Be okay and TRUST yourself. It's like trusting your friend to do something for you. You just trust yourself that you can do something for YOURSELF and you're okay with worst that can happen. You can apply this to anything in your life and you will see how many fears you will face and THAT is awesome! Let yourself be that slumpy, weird, creepy dude who stutters and cries whilst having conversation. That's how you learn how to stop it, from experience. In the end, it's just 5 minutes of uncomfortable tension for you. Let the worst happen and do the craziest. If you die by jumping out of the window whilst trusting yourself to survive, please don't link the media to this post.

So in short? React before you start thinking of all the "what ifs".

 

Sounds brutal and scary to just dive in into conversation without thinking even what to say?

Forget about your anxiety. Don't try to fix it. Whenever you feel sensations in your body when seeing a beautiful girl, just sit in that sexual tension - feel it wherever it is, your chest, crotch. Be okay with whatever there will happen. Don't try to avoid any sensations or nervousness in you, just embrace it.

When you do this, there's NOTHING going through your head. You don't think if you'll look like a weirdo, you don't think what you should said, you don't think about if she's going to like you or not.

Realize that your instinct and intuition will do everything for you, just shut the fuck up and let it lead. Really accept and understand that your instinct and intuition is 100 university degrees smarter than your logical mind in these situations. Then you will realize that thinking of all the "what ifs" is stupid. Human beings have been doing it this way before any dating advice was out there. Trust yourself that whatever silly or awkward happens, you will survive and learn more - combined with a funny story!

 

What do you do instead? Again, just shut the fuck up and let instinct and intution lead the way. See the girl. Feel the girl and walk over. Never plan anything. You trust yourself that you will walk up to her and something will just fall out of your mouth. Maybe it will be a simple hi, maybe it will be my name or anything else random, does not matter. I'll repeat - never plan anything. When you'll stop planning and will enter interaction empty headed, you'll meet your power of spontaniety and inuition. And hey, it'll make you develop your creative thinking!

When you give yourself time to plan for failure, you already enter the interaction with intention to fail. And when you get a response that feels negative to you, it will feel sooo much more intense and stronger than if you would enter the interaction empty headed. Don't give your intuition responsibility FEARFULLY, once again, understand that your intuition and instincts are WAY MORE intelligent than your mind. We know nothing about our intution logically.

 

Don't plan anything. At all.

 

"JUST BE PRESENT BRO, THAT'S HOW YOU GET HER!"

We hear this here all the time. And from all the lame (most are to me, not ALL) PUAs out there. Yet no one really understands what the fuck does present mean?

It's explained as when you walk up to a girl and start feeling nervous and anxious, you need to kick it away, start talking about anything so you forget about it, meditate staring at her left eye at 45° angle to get rid of all the "bad" feelings. We all talk how to get rid of feeling anxious and nervous.

Running from your emotions and your sensations in your body is NOT being present.

What you're doing is, you're not using a technique to be present, you're using a technique to SELF-AVOID. Why do you want to avoid your emotions? There is NOTHING wrong with intensity that you feel in your body, because that is where your sexuality and awesomeness lies - which women are drawn to.

 

BEING PRESENT IS BEING COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE

Like I already explained above. Being present means being with whatever comes to you and not running from it.

Stop thinking of presence as something you escape "bad" feelings with. There's no such thing as bad inside of you, it's all part of your inner power. Many people will do "exercises" they need to be present ONLY when they feel bad. Using something when you feel bad is not going to change your reality.

Being present is not a technique, it's a way of living. And it WILL CHANGE the way you see the world if you stick to it. Telling you, you're going to see drastic changes in how you see the world around you.

 

CONCLUSION

  • Start to trust your instincts and intuition. Which means, when you feel something inspirational, you just surrender to it and sit in it. Trust yourself enough just to fucking go for it.
  • Be COMFORTABLE being UNCOMFORTABLE. Don't try to change anything, embrace it. And that's how you will smash all your fears and fairy tale imaginations into pieces.
  • Planning anything is NOT necessary. If you won't plan anything, it will only allow you to see your power of spontaniety, intuition and creativity - we all have that, we don't need to learn it!
  • Get ready to train your mental strength!
  • Don't be so damn serious! It's all one, big playground, both of the sides are there for fun.
  • Will girls love you and respond awesomely? Hell yeah, dude!
  • Will girls dislike you and respond in a way to avoid you? Hell yeah, dude!
  • See. Feel. Trust. Walk.

 

Like previously. Call me stupid. Call this bullshit.