29F never getting second dates from guys

Miguelito624 · 2016-05-11T18:20:39+00:00

Do you look like your pictures? This is the number one reason I won't ask a girl out on a second date. Also do you text them after the date? Tell them you had a great time and would love to do it again. A lot of girls worry they're going to come of as desperate but its nice to get some validation and if they had a good time it'll make them want to take you out again.

GreySafet · 2016-05-11T18:24:52+00:00

We're going to need more to go on to help figure this out. If you had to guess, what would you say possible reasons are? (I definitely agree with one of the others who noted that following up with a "Thanks for the good time. Look forward to doing it again" text can help and I don't think it ever hurts.)

whitedenim13 · 2016-05-11T19:45:32+00:00

Yes, I think I look like my pictures. I even recently showed my profile to a couple of guy friends who agree that they are representative of what I actually look like. And I don't think I'm out of my league unless its a "type" thing maybe. I think I'm a solid 7, but I definitely fit into the "curvy" category (not a euphemism for fat, but I do have big boobs and a big butt and I get that some men just are into a different look).

With the 3 or so guys that I had the best time with I did send a follow up about having a great time I heard back from two. One is the above mentioned that is just a 4 month long texting saga. The other was awhile back and we had some back and forth via text for a few weeks but it never materialized into anything. I recognize that I could have been the person to initiate more with any of the above but I was HOPING they would. Not that I think men always have to ask but I don't have any experience and very little confidence around asking men out and so I've chickened out. I get that this is a double standard.

Possible reasons I've come up with... Aside from the typical its just not a fit (i.e. they don't like my personality or they're just not attracted to me) the only one I've come up with is my job. Not sure if this is valid but I have kind of an intimidating job (I'm a surgeon) and most of my female friends seem to think that this is a turn off for some guys. Don't know if this is a real possibility or just something women tell each other to soothe egos.

MrCrappy57 · 2016-05-12T13:50:31+00:00

I don't believe any of this.

2016-05-11T17:36:03+00:00

Are you shooting above your eye level?

Are you trying to find something serious with guys who clearly aren't?

Guys don't generally care about your job, we're most likely going to have a career either way so don't put a lot of emphasis on that.

If you've gone out with 10-15 guys and haven't got a second date you're most likely doing SOMETHING wrong. What do YOU think it is?

troyv21 · 2016-05-12T13:52:55+00:00

Ok since trying to figure out the single reason as to why some guys might not stay interested in you will be damn near impossible without being one of your closest friends, I am just going to give you some reasons I haven't followed up on 2nd dates with women. Perhaps it will give you some perspective, perhaps it won't. Keep in mind you are in a Subreddit for PUAs

Girl #1 I met outside of a club, we had late night food, hooked up it was hot. She was fresh out of a relationship and on our date quite often the conversation gravitated towards her relationship with her ex. She was fishing for a someone to vent to, I am not a therapist but since I had some of the best food in front of me I gave her some advice on what I could relate to, paid for the meal, adios - number deleted.

Girl # 2 Setting up the date was such a godamn task. I'm very to the point, set time and place kind of guy. She carried a very successful but busy demeanor. I got the vibe she wanted to call the shots. We have a date at a street fair which consists of live music, artwork, and bar hopping. She was very shallow and would talk shit about people in the crowds if they were fat or ugly. That's not really my cup of tea. Sex was meh, free'd up contact space on my phone the next day.

Girl # 3 was married, we met up for drinks at a local bar. She explained she was dating, her marriage was over for over a year but they stayed living together in separate rooms due to military benefits/immigration reasons. This was rather intriguing. Things got very deep and very personal VERY SOON. After a few hookups, we were sitting on my couch talking. She said I was acting weird, after she left she sent me a novel of text about how I made her uncomfortable. You can guess what I did after that.

tombikadam · 2016-05-11T20:20:31+00:00

they maybe sensed that u are hard to get and move on.. (I mean sexytimes)

peachesandcreame · 2016-05-12T00:33:20+00:00

We gotta see what you look like firstly.

Have you asked him to hang out?

pointmanzero · 2016-05-11T19:11:31+00:00

just find the right guy.

There is something about you that drives a certain man crazy. Find that guy.

hores · 2016-05-12T01:34:57+00:00

Online dating isn't the best way to meet a quality person but I can understand why you're using those places. The reasons for not getting asked out on a date could be wildly varying, for example:

You're not what they're looking for in looks (this is one of the most important things to guys)
They're looking for a hookup (and I'm assuming you're not)
They're inexperienced (which translate into the next item below)
They're scared or a pussy
They're intimidated by your job status (this is a real thing, psychologically they may feel inferior/dominated by your social standing, or may think that you're a career chick that isn't looking to marry/have children)

The guy who's texting you... is he gay? Or a complete pussy? Either way if he's truly interested he should have asked you to hang out a second time a loonnnng time ago. Phase that dude out... slowly if you have to. Unless he's providing something for you, like entertainment. Even as a guy it's strange behavior to me.

Good luck

Title	29F never getting second dates from guys
Author	whitedenim13
Upvotes	11
Comments	19
Date	May 11, 2016 5:29 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4iw1tr/29f_never_getting_second_dates_from_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/29f-never-getting-second-dates-from-guys.1406647 https://theredarchive.com/post/1406647

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