Hi. I'm not sure where this is meant to go; I don't really have a question, just a rant, I guess. Lets get started, I'll try to cover as many bases as possible. 20M virgin, living in Queensland, Australia. Currently studying in University (though just found out I have failed my second semester of Uni- so far, failed 7/7 classes, yea, you read that right, 7/7 in two semesters. I enjoy Uni, just not necessarily the content I've been studying.

My dating life has been almost non-existent (first girlfriend at 12, which lasted for ~1 month, second at 13, lasted 3 months), and nothing since then. I'd like to believe purely because I don't try. If I had to rate how much effort I'd gone to to get a girlfriend/fuck buddy out of 10, I'd be somewhere in the negatives. Its not because I'm a bad looking guy, not because I'm anti-social, I just haven't tried (Yay male-hamster).

I recently moved out of home, and got my first job in October last year, and have been working part-time to pay off debts (Mum/bro). My life has pretty much been dominated by sports, and school. That is all I did growing up, and I loved it. Last year, I was playing soccer 6 nights a week, and was at Uni 5 days a week (albeit I attended very little class, and did no study). I haven't really enjoyed Uni over the last year partly because of my failing the classes, and partly because the content isn't great imo. I found it incredibly hard to motivate myself to study, and go to class these last two semesters, and that is abundantly clear in my results.

I have lied to just about everyone who asks about my studies, and it seriously kills me inside. I told my mum, and broke down crying for the first time in I do not know how long about how I have failed everything at Uni... At the moment, my life sucks. I am going to take a semester off Uni, and try to grab a full-time job, and just save, save, save. Seriously, the only goal I have had in life is to be rich. That is all. I need to find a new goal for my life.. Something that I can strive for everyday.

I need to make massive changes in my life, because I'm not really happy with where I am at this point in time. Its hard, I am confident in most things I do... I don't really care what other people think, I don't care that I'm a 20 year old virgin (but I'm not proud of it, either). I don't deserve anything, simply because I don't put effort into anything I do (except soccer, and maybe games).

I will be reading the sidebar from start to finish, and getting back into the gym. I believe my sole problem is motivation; or lack of. That is what needs to change. I don't even know why I wrote the rest of the shit... To vent, I guess? My life just isn't where I'd like it to be at the moment (I'm not unhappy, but I'm not happy with it either.. It's hard to explain, though I'm sure someone can relate). I understand changes can only come from myself, and that is all I want to change at the moment. I don't care about banging some girl; I'm not angry, or bitter at anything bar myself.

I do have a question though (TRP unrelated though)- Is there somewhere here I can document my progress/lack of? I would like to keep a diary of daily activities, so I can see where I'm improving etc.

/endrant/confession?

Edit: Wow, I didn't really know what I was expecting, but ok. I know nothing apart from the basics of depression, but I don't think I am anywhere near depressed. Maybe I phrased it wrong; I don't know. I have never and never plan on doing ANY sort of drug (except alcohol), and I am only a social drinker, which isn't much anyway. I don't even know what to say, ha. What you guys' are describing seems like a completely different person...

No TL;DR. If you don't read it, you don't read it. I'm sure this will not read well either.

Mods, move/delete to somewhere more appropriate if necessary.

Thanks, K.