How do I stop letting one girl's opinion of me determine my happiness?

Braydawg9 · 2016-06-03T22:41:32+00:00

I heard someone say this once on this subreddit and it's always stuck with me: Don't talk to her to see if she likes you, talk to her to see if you like her. Your opinion matters the most, dude.

triniumalloy · 2016-06-03T20:41:40+00:00

Yes, just move on.

panda_bro · 2016-06-03T22:12:24+00:00

If you have someone other than yourself determine your happiness you're not going to do much good for yourself.

I know the feeling, but you MUST channel those feelings into something. Any sort of project, hobby, activity, etc. When I got dumped by my ex-girlfriend, I produced an entire album of electronic music in the span of 2-3 months. Not only did that give me confidence as a musician and person, it gave me a reason to wake up and be excited about life, it gave me a purpose. I also learned a hobby that makes me happy for myself, and something I can show to anyone going forward who meets me.

So yes, move on. Keep those feelings and channel them into something. Suffering is good for a man, as long as you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and give that suffering a purpose.

Jacob_961 · 2016-06-04T00:04:03+00:00

Defeatist mentality. You want her? Then do shit that gets her. Be normal. Get interested in her. Build a sense of connection with her. Stop thinking about yourself for one god damn minute and focus on making the other person like you. Not for validation or for ego boost. Merely for her to feel good. Guess what happens when she feels positive emotions from you? She starts liking you and then you flirt and create some tention and boom you got yourself something you can work with. Don't panic or freek out and do whatever you think is best in that point in time. If she spreads her legs. Hallelujah. If not, who cares. You move on.

2016-06-04T01:51:28+00:00

you can "move on" but it'd be good to look at why, exactly, you care about her opinion so much. why it apparently determines your happiness.

It sounds like women are a real priority for you, but perhaps to an unhealthy extent. You might try some other things out while still keeping with the dating, i.e. working out, meditation, PE. Doing these things can really help remove a lot of neuroticism and give you insight into your ongoing experience. Really thats the main issue with guys that have trouble with women or who spend a ton of time thinking about "how" to attract the opposite sex, when its really something thats going to happen on its own, and is something you need to not get in the way of.

Best way to do that is to not be anxious, and to be confident to the point where you do not need to ask advice from people. External input is never going to be ideally tailored to your situation, in my opinion, that makes it useless a good deal of the time. So be more functional as an individual. How? Work out, meditate, have other goals while also pursuing the opposite sex. Note how things improve together as whole. if you aren't improving mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you will get weighed down by one of those and the issue will become an anchor in the future. think broad.

Idfsupporter · 2016-06-04T13:50:21+00:00

If she is playing you delete her number and stop talking to her

2016-06-05T14:39:57+00:00

Yes! Just let go. There are tons more fish in the sea. She is only one person and is non importanf

Title	How do I stop letting one girl's opinion of me determine my happiness?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	8
Date	June 3, 2016 7:51 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4meouz/how_do_i_stop_letting_one_girls_opinion_of_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-letting-one-girls-opinion-of-me.1407666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1407666

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