Is it ever okay to tell a new-ish woman you miss them -or- call them out for not responding to your text about hanging out?

recyclablebanthas · 2016-08-27T09:07:03+00:00

One of the biggest rules here is to simply not be needy and desperate, and as much as I practice that sometimes I want to just say "I miss you" or push harder to hang out.

Problem is, you're not just supposed to "practice" this by simply trying to hold back. That amounts to putting a bandaid on the issue.

You've got to change your thoughts and habits on this matter.

Stop making it a practice to check your phone all day long, nonstop. You have a life right in front of you. And it's not on the screen of your phone.
Set boundaries. Make appointments during the day when you might check messages. Like lunchtime, etc. Then put the phone down and get to whatever work or studying is in front of you. Day off? Find something to do. Your whole life cannot be just for this other person or for checking messages.

Background: I've been seeing a HB9 for a month...... we text about our lives all day long.

Cut it out. Really. You can't live your lives if you're constantly texting about them.

We've been meeting up every other day, but then nights like tonight roll around where she's out doing some socialite type shit and posting it on social media and seemingly having the time of her life -- and I miss her.

Hence the overall point that you need a LIFE. Of your own. It shouldn't be a situation where one of you is never doing anything and is constantly available while the other has obligations and restrictions.

Both of you should have things to do. Other than each other. If all you do is sit there and check her social media for signs that she met a dude, you're cheating yourself out of life.

When we're together we have an amazing time and it feels right, but on a night like tonight I miss her and want to get vulnerable and say that and tell her to come over.

You see her every other day, right? It hasn't been enough time to "miss" her. What's happening is that you're insecure and need reassurance. But you need to get most of this reassurance from yourself. It seems that you think she could leave you or replace you at any time? This thinking will actually lead to it happening.

Also, in regards to calling her out for not responding to the alluded to text about hanging out, I usually give her a time and place to meet and she's down, but today I gave a "when are you free to chill this weekend" and she ignored the fuck out of it.

You might be smothering her. Chill. Out.

This feeling kind of sucks and I wanted to see if anyone here can relate and how you deal with these situations.

Look, you've described a situation where you're getting increasingly needy, because of your own issues. She's possibly pulling away because of this or simply living her life.

So tell me, what good is it for you to "'call her out," when the issue is your own? You might as well slap a certain expiration date on the relationship if you start doing this.

I realize I should just go out and find more pussy, but I'm tired and just want to rest tonight.

You love this girl. Right? So adding another girl to the mix will NOT fix the problem. A lot of guys here play the Shell Game with their emotional problems.

Even some of the earliest founders of this scene. Google guys like Style and Mystery and you'll find that this sort of thing hasn't gone too well for them.

that-freakin-guy · 2016-08-27T07:03:33+00:00

Nope. I know the feeling and it sucks, but that shit is better reserved for someone you're dating. Go drive to a club, take a picture, post it on social media, and make it look like you're doing something. Seriously, makes you look like you're doing something besides staying at home. This is a good way to fool her into thinking you're busy when you're not, and she'll wonder if you're talking to other women without doing the work on a night that you just don't have the energy.

I would legit take pictures of the club, diners I would walk by, food, etc and save them for nights I just was tired. Post them up and everyone would ask where I was, who I went with, and girls would get jealous when all I did was stay home and study or play Forza. I recommend it, it really helped to maintain a socialite front while being a normal human being with a busy schedule. I would take pictures of me with girls around my arm too for the serious heavy hitter pictures, for times when I needed to really bring the heat. I'm 29 man, I don't have the energy to be fucking around like I used to when I was 22. I would still use these tactics if I'm ever single again because they worked so damn well.

Otherwise, you're not going to like what I have to say because you already know what I'm going to say. You need to have an abundance mentality. Go out and meet other people, it'll make you feel a lot better and help get your mind off of things. You already know what you have to do.

Title	Is it ever okay to tell a new-ish woman you miss them -or- call them out for not responding to your text about hanging out?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	August 27, 2016 3:29 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4zshd1/is_it_ever_okay_to_tell_a_newish_woman_you_miss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-ever-okay-to-tell-a-new-ish-woman-you-miss.1411474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411474

Comments