Once you attract a female, how do you maintain the attraction?

Dirtylittlesecret88 · 2016-09-18T06:05:10+00:00

I think you didn't escalate physically or based off what you've told us you never tried to get past that initial stage of attraction. You can't spend a whole week with a girl never getting past the holding hands stage. There's probably more you need to tell us because I feel I'm missing something but I think you needed to take bigger risks and make bolder moves.

Crownlessking626 · 2016-09-18T03:52:17+00:00

More importantly, how much does race actually matter with pua? Is just being black a negative?

recyclablebanthas · 2016-09-18T06:47:04+00:00

I have lurked this sub for over a year and picked up a lot of self-improving habits. One thing I found is that I am now able to consistently attract a female

First off, this almost makes it sound like seduction is something a man does to a passive female who does nothing.

This could not be further from the truth. Seduction is a team sport. You might initiate but if the girl ain't playing with you at some point, nothing is going to happen.

I think I am between a 5 and a 7, depending on whether a girl are ok with a black 19 year old

I've seen too many odd matchups in my time..... This numbering system you're applying to yourself, is BS.

The fact that you're black might mean something if you're in the south of the US. But with some groups of people and in some areas, it'll be an advantage.

Where I grew up, it seemed like black dudes cleaned up at the clubs. Like they just had to stand there and girls would rub up on them.

My point: you ought to reexamine these assumptions that your age, the color of your skin, etc, are simply disadvantages. Life's not that simple.

However, the reason I haven't had a girlfriend before is because I can't maintain attraction.

It's not on you to "maintain" it. But if you act like it is and spend a lot of energy trying not to lose a girl, you're probably going to drive her away.

I can't put my finger on it. For the first day to a few days, the girl is all over me. Texts back immediately, flirts, and even sends me those snaps that makes a brotha want to screenshot. Then, things go straight downhill.

You're leaving out SO much here.

How are you meeting these girls?
How far are you usually getting? First date? Kissing? More?

I am completely oblivious as to why this happens with virtually every girl that I've had a thing with.

You don't have to read what's below, it's just context

Naw..... It's important.

Guaranteed she was into me. She couldn't play soccer, so we just end up studying for hours on end at the library. We watched a soccer game on the computer together and I just got vibes all day from her.

So..... Did you do anything to create an opportunity for physical escalation?

One week later, and I haven't seen her at all, texts are dry and short, no snaps, nothing.

Texting conversation is nothing. Snaps are nothing. Did you try to set up any meetup between you two?

Or did you try to "build something" over text?

I just don't know where I'm going wrong. I don't change at all from the first impression-- still flirty, physically fit, confident, academically apt

Academically....what? This isn't really relevant to attraction in most cases. :)

Ironchar · 2016-09-18T05:30:48+00:00

Sounds like your dealing with young people. Young are finiky at best, you yourself are young, but you'll grow fast cause your aware of things like this.

The environment I think has a huge impact on why your experiencing this

SplendaTheyreCominUp · 2016-09-18T11:58:59+00:00

stop referring to the woman as a female like she's a bitch you're taking to the vet for a check up.
you just need practice. every guy goes through this. you just need to continue to work on your social skills. but please please stop with this dudebro talk of feeeeemales - the only way you can maintain an attraction is if the girl feels comfortable around you, like as if you're her best friend.
you're in college. i'm not about any of that disgusting trp bullshit, but at 19 girls are away from their repressive parents for the first time - your personality may have nothing to do with it, they may just want to fuck as many guys as possible for now

tl dr, you could be a little more respectful in your attitudes towards and how you talk about women (girls is also acceptable in some contexts, i am not convinced girl strictly refers to a child female human, but you're always safe if you use woman),

AND/BUT you are probably fine, just keep on keepin on, you're 19.

I started soph year of college

beginning of semester? dude, wait until christmas when all the romantic movies are playing

Ironchar · 2016-09-17T20:43:04+00:00

Maybe u shod just directly ask if u guys had a thing goin on there? Maybe they are confused too? All I can think is that maybe its mixed signals? Mixed signals is a helluva drug and anyone with the slight experience would not want to get any more emotionally invested. Try writing some more excitingly to her, return the signals. You arent needy just because of a few texts, just dont make it a wall of texts and desperation lol. But I see why it could be weird if you write excitingly and u only get like "k" back. If it doest fix it self or its not possible to be honest about it then just quit writing more texts or investing time amd energy for nothing.

Philzy610 · 2016-09-17T18:14:44+00:00

Curious... is it Norwich University?

hk2244 · 2016-09-18T06:36:54+00:00

Not calling women "females" again. Ever

Title	Once you attract a female, how do you maintain the attraction?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	18
Comments	18
Date	September 17, 2016 4:57 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5381i5/once_you_attract_a_female_how_do_you_maintain_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/once-you-attract-a-female-how-do-you-maintain-the.1412598 https://theredarchive.com/post/1412598

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