I used to be charismatic and funny, but now I am just awkward and quiet. I don't know what happened!?

TraneBoy · 2016-10-15T11:36:04+00:00

What happened? You grew up. That's what happened. Adults behave differently from teens. They are far less to make a connection.

2016-10-16T09:06:29+00:00

Don't listen to this guy that says "your social interaction worsens when you grow up", that is how you get a life that peaks at college and goes downhill after.

OP, the difference is that in your old setting, you already had a tight social circle. You didn't need to do anything extra, only "maintain", your presence alone is enough to make people appreciate you. In a new environment, if you simply "maintained" your usual self, you'd be invisible. You need to restart all that initial groundwork of crossing the gap between "stranger" and "good friend". It sounds like you're only halfway along that line right now.

One suggestion is to be okay with being a stranger. It happens to anyone in a new environment and you can't expect your old friends to follow you wherever you are to prop your confidence up. But you're still you, and you still have your inherent value, so use this as an opportunity to build "true" confidence, which is where you're confident regardless of situation or circumstance.

The second is to build close friends instead of a lot of friends. You want that feeling of having people have your back, people you "click" really well with, and you only need a few people to get it back. Once you get that feeling again it should restore your confidence and alleviate that problem.

Woujo · 2016-10-15T14:11:22+00:00

here's what changed: you got ANXIETY

freybeard · 2016-10-15T12:24:45+00:00

I am a firm believer of you are what you think you are. If you say you are charismatic and funny, you're bound to be charismatic and funny. If you say you are not then chances are you are not. People have become what they think of themselves most of the time. Convince yourself that you are funny and charismatic everyday. Do this for a month, or maybe many years, who knows! But little by little you'll start beleiving who you are again! Bury negative self talk at all cost. It doesnt progress you and opens the possibility of you reverting back to your old ways. You got this! You are funny and charismatic!

sand141 · 2016-10-15T09:24:41+00:00

Possibly it's the new environment? if you don't now, then we don't know either....we're not mind readers.

I suggest reading "models" by mark mason and " How to win and influence people" Best of Luck!

slimyaltoid · 2016-10-15T11:09:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I used to be charismatic and funny, but now I am just awkward and quiet. I don't know what happened!?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	9
Date	October 15, 2016 4:27 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/57kjvj/i_used_to_be_charismatic_and_funny_but_now_i_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-used-to-be-charismatic-and-funny-but-now-i-am.1414004 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414004

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