This year I developed serious case of oneitis. I fell in love with a long time friend of mine.

During this year we spent more time together than usual, mostly with our other friends, but sometimes also just two of us alone. I enjoyed it very much, and it looked that she is enjoying it too and having as much fun as I do. There were a lot of talking, joking, flirting and some playful touching and ass grabing between us from time to time. When we were alone we would have meaningful deep conversations about our lives and even on one occasion she opened up and told me about some sad, troubling parts of her life.

Last few years I'm following this subreddit and learning about game and all that it involves, and I want to thank you all guys for putting online such a great content for rest of us to learn and improve ourselves. While i was spending time with her, I tried to use some knowledge I gained here and it made me think that she might be attracted to me by some signs of her behaviour. Besides our closeness, flirting, touching, she would come and sit in my lap when there wasn't place to sit, when something funny would happen, she would first look for my reaction, and she laughed hard at my jokes, even the bad ones.

This all and being that we share a lot of common interests and views in life, and that I find her very attractive, and think of her as a good person, made me fall in love with her, and one time when we were alone I made a move and told her how I feel about her. She acted surprised and rejected me by saying she is not ready for a relationship (she wasn't with anyone for a few years) and also said something in manner of that she likes that we are friends and couldn't imagine two of us not spending time together and also that someday in future, who knows what might happen.

After that, we continued chatting online like we used to. Our chats were rarely meaningful. It was mostly sharing links of music, movies and funny stuff, rarely about something deeper, but if it was, it could last for hours. We chatted for about a week, then I decided I can't go on like this and stopped sending her messages, so did she.

Since then passed almost a month and not a single day has passed that I don't think about her. We haven't seen each other and talked to each other. It is probably coincidence that we did not meet during these few weeks (did not gather with rest of the friends like we usually do). Probably because of work, college, family and other obligations we all have during autumn/winter days. But I will sure see her a lot in a future, when meeting with our friends, and that is one of the things that makes it hard for me to move on. I must add that I'm confused about all of it, and especially about her behaviour. Was all that flirting just for her amusement? Did she even care about me, since she gave up our chatting sessions so easily, or is she trying to avoid talking to me or meeting me for some other reason. She told that she can't imagine us not being friends and spending time together, and yet she didn't even try to contact me. I still have strong feelings for her, and when I see her again, i'm not sure how would I feel, or react, or how should I behave at all. Its all so confusing, and i wish i can get some closure and move on.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me. And i apologize for long post and any grammar or spelling mistakes i made, English is not my main language.