I need some help.

barriss · 2017-01-23T11:33:15+00:00

This might be a dive in the deep end for you, but a couple of my friends have been in a similar situation and took an interesting approach that seemed to help them both a lot. The basic premise was "I need to stop being afraid of rejection."

The idea is to say to yourself "Rejection is a natural part of life and isn't a reflection on me but a reflection of incompatibility between me and another person. It's not about me alone or her alone, but just that we're different in a way that doesn't result in mutual attraction. Rejection is not something I should take personally."

One of my friends tackled this by asking someone out once a day for a month. Every day he'd say to someone he interacted with "Hey, would you like to go out some time?" Sometimes it resulted in a date, sometimes it resulted in rejection. It stung but the occasional ego boost was super helpful.

The other friend was less deliberate about it and just said "If I feel like I'm vibing with someone, I'll ask them out instead of being afraid." He found forcing himself to embrace rejection very helpful.

Given that you seem to experience great anxiety in social situations, this may be too big a jump in the deep end for you. But maybe you can find a different version of this that works better for you.

Tjodleik · 2017-01-23T11:48:47+00:00

Try meditation. It's scientifically proven to reduce anxiety, and in most cases it can reduce the anxiety level by more than 50 percent.

Reading this might also help, and it also ties nicely into the advice about meditation since the end goal is to silence your mind as much as possible. This is just my experience, but when my social anxiety was at its highest it wasn't really that bad. The real killer was all the negative self talk, associations and assumptions I made about totally random shit that amplified the anxiety a thousand times, and once I picked up meditation and learned to literally not think of anything the anxiety became much more manageable.

The key here though, is that you have to decide to go full throttle and dedicate yourself to this come hell or high water. If you don't, then chances are you're gonna half-ass your way through a couple of attempts, with the (subconscious) intention of failing, and then decide it's fucking useless and quit.

With that said, as a fellow man who know all too well how crippling social anxiety can be, I'm rooting for you. You can do it! :D

Title	I need some help.
Author	Voorhich42
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	January 23, 2017 7:41 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5pn7vm/i_need_some_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-some-help.1419036 https://theredarchive.com/post/1419036

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