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[–]chaosandmayhem 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This sounds a hell of a lot like you haven't actually built your masculine core up. I'd bet that it's coming through in your interactions with women, too.
If you have to play a role for women to be interested, there's something wrong.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah I haven't yet. I've only been at this for a few monthes. How can I work on changing?
[–]chaosandmayhem 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Short answer? Use the positive reference experiences you develop to change your self-image from being an unattractive guy to being an attractive guy. It has to become part of your psyche; if you become delusional, the facade will crack.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
The video game playing stoner skater came out while she was with me and she was disgusted. That's the real me. When I get home I want to smoke a bowl and play something.
The video game playing stoner skater came out while she was with me and she was disgusted.
That's the real me. When I get home I want to smoke a bowl and play something.
Can you clarify, what do you do with the rest of your day? Do you just skateboard around, smoke weed, and play video games all day?
I assume you do something else because you mention, "when I get home," which implies you do something else. So before passing judgement on your hobbies, I'd like to know what else you prioritize.
This HAS happened before. My pick up is getting me the girls but when they see the real me (the me I like being) they don't stay.
This is a problem with your methodology, possibly.
It's one thing if you're just living a life without trying to change and grow. Then you might consider whether you're smoking and playing video games too much. But simply doing these things and not being a billionaire, is not terrible. People are allowed to have hobbies and things they do for fun.
On the other hand, it's a common problem to adopt "seduction" methods that are good at hooking girls, but not good at screening out girls who aren't actually interested in who you are as a person. And it's common to avoid one's own personal development (emotionally, professionally, etc.) in favor of the pursuit of validation one gets from sex with new people.
I work a lot and when I have time I like skating BMXing snowboarding and anything in between. I chase adrenaline.
Now when I'm home I like to play some vidya (used to be addicted an only play video games every day) and smoke with my roommates.
When I do pick up with my co worker I dress to impress (compared to my black hoodie and jeans that became my shell at one point)
So what happens is I meet a women. We get along well (I'm fairly introverted but working as a server for a year allowed me to understand what is right and wrong in social situations, and I've opened up) we hit it off and after a few weeks she's in my life and turned off.
Maybe I need to find more introverted women but that alone is hard because well they're introverted.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I work a lot
What's your work? What sort of professional development do you see? (Like where is your career going?)
and when I have time I like skating BMXing snowboarding and anything in between. I chase adrenaline.
Off-hand, sounds fine to me. Work hard, play hard.
I guess it all depends on whether you do anything else. These things you mention are all good and well, as long as they're in moderation. Even something "good" might be too much if that's all you do.
Also, having social hobbies or meet-ups with groups who you have a common interest with, is valuable. Because while everyone doesn't need to have the same interests, it's good to have something you can share with a significant other. It doesn't matter if it's just a one night stand, but when you want something more......
Where are you going to meet these people? Are these places that you like to go when you're not doing pick-up? Hint: the best places for pick-up are places you would have fun going to even if you weren't specifically picking anyone up.
Sounds like you're going to places and meeting people who have different values than you do. And you're not screening them out for whatever reason, until later when they are in your life for a few weeks and you find out they don't fit into your life.
Look, you're introverted and you're out there. Other women will be too. The trick is to find a variety of places and ways to encounter new people.
Some people create FB groups for different interests and those groups meet up regularly. That can be a great way to meet new people.
Social partner dancing can be a great way to meet some people. The nature of some dances actually attracts introverted and extroverted people.
Also, when you go out to meet people, don't go to places you don't like. You'll meet people with values that don't match up to yours. Example: Don't like dancing? Don't go to a club.
[–]psyocal 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Unless you've made millions selling a social media platform, you have no excuse for wasting time. The real you lacks ambition. No one wants to be with a time waster.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So I should just abandon that self and become who I'm changing into?
[–]psyocal 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Time is your greatest asset. Don't waste it like a deadbeat.
Evolve as a man.
So yes. Abandon that bullshit. You don't need it.
Don't put up with it from other deadbeats either - friends or future partners - no matter how attractive you may think they are.
If you somehow manage to 'make it' in life (like creating the next Facebook or Snapchat), smoke all the bowls and play all the something's you want.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Game is outdated. You need to focus on your inner game. Hit the gym, get a better diet, start reading regularly, start meditating, learn about body language, eye contact and tonality, then practice them. Oh and focus on your professional life too. This is what real game boils down to. Become a better man and you will attract better (and more) women. Of course learning a bit of 'real game' (like push-pull) won't hurt either, but it's the easiest, not so important part. Finally: APPROACH!!
It might be a bit overwhelming for now, but as a first step: just go and read Models by Mark Manson
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[–]chaosandmayhem 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]chaosandmayhem 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]psyocal 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]psyocal 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link