Choosing someone else over me

recyclablebanthas · 2017-04-16T18:30:45+00:00

________1: This isn't a problem__________

....haven't known this person I was dating long. ....I did not think she was seeing anyone else......

This is how dating works; people date and try each other on like clothes to see how well things work. We all know the score here: until two people commit to a relationship, no one expects any sort of commitment and rightly so.

It wasn't slimy for her to be dating around, anymore than it is for guys who post in Seddit to be playing the field when they're single. No one should expect a commitment unless it's been agreed upon.

The key is that one can't be afraid of things not working out, or they will start acting in ways that will fuck themselves out of better dating situations.

________2: This is the normal process__________

It's hard not to take it personally but I know the other person was just a better match for her.

If they're a better match, then that instantly invalidates her suitability to you for anything serious.

________3__________

She gave me the lets put us on hold, but I'd like to do stuff just as friends.

If she's a cool person, then go for it. Fewer things are as effective as a female wingman (wing-gal), especially one who was involved with you and still wanted to be friends. Some of the best referrels I've ever gotten were from exes who passed on their girlfriends to me.

But take time for yourself, obviously. It's common to need some time to hit the reset button to where you can

___4: Your mindset is going to create problems unless you address it____

That honestly irks me, there was a reason I took a chance with them and it wasn't for a friendship.

You're framing this in a very unhelpful way. If you're not involving yourself with women that you could be friends with (in addition to the sex and whatever else), then you're arguably doing something wrong. You need that foundation for a serious relationship and while you could have flings without it, it can take a toll to be physically intimate with women that one doesn't like as people.

panda_bro · 2017-04-15T21:07:34+00:00

Fuck her. You don't want to be friends. That's a slimy move on her part. She should have made her intentions be known and not led you on like that.

Don't waste your breath on her man. There's nothing salvageable in that.

Title	Choosing someone else over me
Author	Blindside123
Upvotes	1
Comments	17
Date	April 15, 2017 2:18 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/65ja6y/choosing_someone_else_over_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/choosing-someone-else-over-me.1423383 https://theredarchive.com/post/1423383

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