I’ll go first.

For young upper-middle class Gen Z men between the ages of 20 and 27, I think the experiences fall into a clear bimodal distribution:

10% of guys are sluts and engage in lots of casual sex with just about anyone.

About 40% of guys, in what I call the upper-mid tier, have had at least one relationship/fling/sex partner by the age of 20, they will most likely go on to have a few more in the coming years. These are the “normal” guys everyone is talking about and the ones most female commenters refer to. This group tends to be educated, white, fit, sporty, neurotypical, have well off parents, extroverts, louder personalities.

The 40% of guys in the lower-mid category are the most interesting group and the one that most make commenters refer to. They have between 0-1 maybe 2 relationships by the time they’re 25. It’s generally pretty difficult for them to get a relationship and they can spend years between ones but they’re not bad guys.

Eventually the majority of these men find one partner to settle down with, usually by pure accident, many times with the girls making the first move. I know guys like this in Silicon Valley. They make ludicrous tech salaries, look about average, are mostly various ethnicities of Asian.

These are the types of guys everyone is slightly surprised haven’t had a relationship by 25, “you’re such catch,” they say. And they usually have decent personalities although introverts, neurodivergent men and overrepresented. This group trends to be minority race men, out of shape, nerdy, introverted, from more conservative families. They usually have as many female friends as the upper-mid guys. I suspect more that at least 2/3rds of the guys on Reddit dating subs are these men.

10% of guys are genuine incels (by the standard definition) and will be single for life probably.

About “bad guys” they can be from any group. Rich powerful men and desolate poor men hurt women regardless of their sexual/dating success. I don’t know the proportion of bad men, but it’s probably small/big enough that despite the vast majority of men not being in it, over a lifetime every woman encounters at least a few.

This is what I perceive as the typical sex/relationship life for a man in my age group. Guys who’ve had the stereotypical sex life portrayed in media are just as common as guys who’ve had no experience.

It’s hard to define a median for this group because the median doesn’t really exist. Most guys are either in upper-mid or lower-mid tier.

Half the time a commenter will assume the “average” is the upper mid and half the other time they’ll assume it’s the lower mid guys. This is where so much confusion comes from.

It’s also going to be very location dependent. If you’re at university you’ll encounter a lot more upper mid guys for instance. There are far more women than men in college so most young women only really interact with these types of men and assume they’re the average.

What’s your demographic like?