open LDR plate of 6+ months wanted to "Define the relationship" and now "can't do this anymore" after seeing my Tinder moment.

VelociReactor · 2014-10-24T18:59:11+00:00

Her: "Really?" "I can't do this anymore, I'm sorry."

You: (silence)

Her: (In a day or two) Ok sorry about that other message I was having a bad day

BellatorCordis · 2014-10-24T20:38:33+00:00

If you only want to keep her as a plate, your best bet is to just be honest and nonchallant about it. She might not be down with only casually dating you, or might change her mind at some point.

For a guy who is engaging in relations with multiple girls, you need to accept as a reality that eventually they will all get fed up and look for a beta bucks. It's not often talked about, but the flip side of being a beta bucks in a sexless marriage is that if you fulfill the alpha role, you usually aren't kept around for long.

If you want to just have casual sex with a bunch of girls, you need to regularly be picking up new plates to replace those that will inevitably drop off.

VelociReactor · 2014-10-24T22:29:39+00:00

Here's the deal: With the tinder moment, you went too man slut for her liking. I can keep plates around but I can't rub it in their face. You need to try to keep them in the dark. They know- trust me. But if I start making out with another girl at a club their at, it's not going to make them like more. They'll just jump branches. Dread game is very subtle even in FWB. I would have unmatched her and just keep gaming chicks. Not do the 'hey tinder sluts, come over for a fuck' in full sight of her. A plate that is falling for you won't take it. This is just from experience. Dial it back in the future. Also, throwing out 'hey anybody out on the tinder internet, come and fuck me, I'm lonely and it's saturday night' is low value. High value males should not have to resort to that. DLV big time.

slcjosh · 2014-10-24T21:40:23+00:00

"ok" is your response. Who gives a shit.

oldredder · 2014-10-25T06:24:33+00:00

Ya, you do want to lose her. You have other plates and she is hamstering. She wants to flirt freely but not permit you to do so. You're not cool with that. Period.

I think you did fine unless no other girls responded positively in which case you gained nothing.

HS-Thompson · 2014-10-24T18:59:04+00:00

Forget about the plate for a second, and realize that posting "moments" on Tinder is a feature to make girls like it and use it more. Girls love posting selfies and all that nonsense.

You're a fucking man right? Guys don't post "moments." Fix that first and solve at least one of your life problems today.

Title	open LDR plate of 6+ months wanted to "Define the relationship" and now "can't do this anymore" after seeing my Tinder moment.
Author	VelociReactor
Upvotes	7
Comments	22
Date	October 24, 2014 6:44 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2k7xt3/open_ldr_plate_of_6_months_wanted_to_define_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/open-ldr-plate-of-6-months-wanted-to-define-the.143092 https://theredarchive.com/post/143092

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