Have I fucked up ? What should I do next ? [Fear of rejection]

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-08-21T11:32:53+00:00

considering we were both talking about taking it slow and see where we could go).

Your "actions" were not in line with what you were talking about. If you were indeed talking about "taking it slow", then you go and blurt out something, then apologize about it...

You lied to her, you lied to yourself, and you came off weak when you apologized. In her eyes you are a weak liar who doesn't know what he wants.

Next time, don't do that. Hold your frame. If you like her, then act like it. NEVER APOLOGIZE for showing a girl how you feel. NEVER.

because I'm still freaking out...

Honestly, I think you need to learn from this. You either like a girl or you don't. If you do, you flirt and escalate. Thats how you show a girl you are interested. You NEVER confess you feelings. And you NEVER apologize for having those feelings. [If she doesn't feel the same way, its her loss, not your mistake...]

Understand?

It's a consistent pattern in my dating history, I'm always shooting myself in the foot. Often, I found that I'd rather reject myself than get rejected.

SO change your behavior. Stop over thinking, and calm the fuck down. Girls like you, that's why they go out with you, so take a chill pill, relax, and have a good time. Plenty of guys here can't get dates. So calm the fuck down, bro... You have a good thing here...

Learn to flirt and escalate, and never confess how you feel.

Sad_Sleeper · 2017-08-21T10:45:33+00:00

Actions Speak Louder Than Words. Ie go kiss her, escalate.

Telling her that you like her is what Nice guys do. If she is not completely oblivious she knows that you like her.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-08-21T17:38:24+00:00

I've been messaging with this girl for a month

I was considering telling her that I liked her since that's how I felt. But as we were talking, I saw an opportunity to be spontaneous and tell her in a "funny" way. And I did. I wanted to be clear about my intention.

Have you physically escalated with this girl at all? Because that's how you're clear about intention, initially.

But I panicked, I thought it was too fast, and too early. I'm really really insecure about dating.

Well, you might have freaked out because you realized on some level, how awkward this admission was.

And you were probably telling her not because you wanted to show your intentions, or thought it was spontaneous, but because you NEEDED some sort of reassurance. You have found yourself investing in this girl emotionally, more and more. And you wanted to know that she is as deep in it, as you are.

YOU need to handle this need yourself.

It's been a long time since I got back on that horse. Anyway, I panicked even more and said sorry for rushing it.

But she told me that it was ok. Nothing was broken, calm down etc.

Look, it's out of your hands. Maybe nothing was "broken" as you put it. Or maybe you killed the attraction with that whole awkward exchange. Time will tell and no further explanation or apologies regarding that, will help.

Title	Have I fucked up ? What should I do next ? [Fear of rejection]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	3
Date	August 21, 2017 10:16 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6v202h/have_i_fucked_up_what_should_i_do_next_fear_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/have-i-fucked-up-what-should-i-do-next-fear-of.1432350 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432350

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