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I lost all of my confidence in talking to girls. How do I regain it?

Heartbreakkid4456

August 30, 2017

14 upvotes

/r/seduction

/r/seduction/comments/6ww93l/i_lost_all_of_my_confidence_in_talking_to_girls/

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Title	I lost all of my confidence in talking to girls. How do I regain it?
Author	Heartbreakkid4456
Upvotes	14
Comments	13
Date	August 30, 2017 2:36 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6ww93l/i_lost_all_of_my_confidence_in_talking_to_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-lost-all-of-my-confidence-in-talking-to-girls.1432837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432837

Comments

[–][deleted] 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Sciarrad 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]deathmaster13 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Skeptical_Squid11 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Skeptical_Squid11 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]youhawhat 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Damn man I literally know that feel. That's why my recent breakup with my old high school/college sweetheart was so hard for me was because my ex was crazy hot. Way out of my league hot. and Ive always been someone who has struggled with self esteem in my appearance. so a lot of the time Ill get stuck on thoughts that Ill never be able to get another girl as hot as she is. but you just have to accept that that's how it works, a hot girl is always going to have more options and theres nothing you can do about it. but one of my favorite videos from rsdtyler is when he talks about how the journey of breaking up with a hot girl is good, because, while a girl can walk up to any guy they want, it forces you to really invest in yourself in order to get more, higher quality girls. If you want my opinion as someone who is not one of these 'yea bro just be confident bro' Pua guys and still struggles with thoughts of her popping into my head, the first step is to start going to the gym. Makes you look better, but most importantly makes you feel better and helps with your focus and it gives you a way to relieve stress. Imo working out has as many mental health benefits as physical ones. 2nd is to start reading quality books, read books on meditation, read books on communication, read books on leadership, etc.... the richest and smartest people in the world have written their thoughts down for you to read... read always. And the 3rd is to be your own best friend. This might sound retarded, but everyday when I get up and look in the mirror I tell myself what I like about myself 'man your hair looks great today, when you haven't shaved for a few days you get that perfect adam levine stubble, look how green your eyes are girls love green eyes' and yes I know it is the fruitiest thing in the world but I truly believe that it helps me be more confident so screw it. Basically the way I see it is you truly have to reprogram your mind and focus on yourself, create a world that girls want to be a part of, not one that you have to drag them into to make you happy. Hope this helps you like it is helping me

[–]pick-up-on-this 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Skeptical_Squid11 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]doubleshotonice1 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I was in a relationship once that was the most beautiful thing I've ever been in. I fell in love with her and she fell in love with me. When the time was right, I told her one day about 3 months into the relationship that I loved her. I can still remember the strands of hair over her face and the sun setting, what side she was laying on in the bed, etc...

Fast forward about 2 years later, we're engaged, and while I loved her, I was getting fed up of her telling me I couldn't see my family/friends and a few other things... So I ended it...

I was destroyed, she was destroyed... But about 2 months later she finds a guy on Tinder and "falls in love," with him...

Tells me that those first couple days with him she connected more than him than she ever has with me.

I don't think you wanna know how that made me feel but you obviously can...

That was my one problem, I compared myself to someone else when I should have been focused on myself, which is the same thing you need to be concerned on. Yourself.

Fuck her and fuck that other guy.

If you compare yourself to others you'll never measure up if you're not going to focus on bettering your own life.

---with that being said... Guess who messaged me about a year later ranting about how any guy shes ever been with since me leaves her and how I was the only one who truly loved her because I put up with her shit. My ex.

She has a hard time admitting things are her fault, she's a narcissist I believe but everyone knows the truth deep down inside.

Same thing with your ex. She's gonna have a realization one day, man. But for now just work on bettering yourself.

[–]Skeptical_Squid11 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]doubleshotonice1 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It's all good brother. One day you'll be alright but even I still have those moment's, maybe one day out of a month where I'll think about her and it'll stop me in my tracks.

Hell, I could be ordering a coffee at Starbucks and in between me telling the barista what I want I'll have an intrusive thought of her, and forget what I'm doing. I'll become depressed from anywhere from 5 mins to the whole day. But never longer than that.

It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad, but just to get those emotions out of your system. Beyond that, you'll eventually stop crying and stop being sad (overall) and everything will be okay, eventually. I dated her for almost 2 years and it took me about 1 year and 3-4 months to get over her entirely.

What I did was surround myself with friends who loved me, found new hobbies to commit to (weight loss, running, working out) and listening to a lot of positive music. (Not sure if you're big into heavy metal but Killswitch engages Last two albums helped me out tremendously)

Other than that man just keep me/us up to date. Reddit has been here for me and I'm here for you bro

[–]Skeptical_Squid11 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]doubleshotonice1 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link