im having trouble understanding how i can show interest without sacrificing my seductiveness

recyclablebanthas · 2017-09-22T04:44:24+00:00

1: The Game is not far enough

hi seddit. a few months ago i read The Game and subscribed to this subreddit and the results have been really excellent. finally making a post to ask something thats been on my mind, but thanks to all the quality posters out there.

So first off, the thing I'd point out is, if you're only read this one book by Strauss and haven't read his follow-up, "The Truth," then you're missing what happened to him after he followed the ideas he explored in The Game. Even by the end of "The Game," he had come to realize how his way of pursuing social success was flawed, but he pretty much hit bottom before he wrote "The Truth" and while he has said he had to walk that path in those days to come to where he is today, he doesn't agree with much of his philosophy from those days.

A book like The Truth or Models by Mark Manson, another guy who started out as an old-school PUA but developed into something more would be good to look into.

2: Too complicated

im struggling with the concept of showing that you're attracted to someone while still maintaining the image that you have other options.

You're making this too complicated. You don't "show you're attracted" and you don't need to "maintain the image that you have other options."

If you start up a conversation with someone, if you escalate with them, if you joke with them, then you will "show you're attracted." What you're doing here is a little bit like trying to walk by concentrating on every single minute muscle movement and trying to will each one to work, instead of just fucking walking. It leads to weird walking.
"Maintaining the image that you have other options," is a manipulative game that is unnecessary. When you are having a good conversation with someone, they won't be hooked because they think they need to work to keep you from leaving to another option. You'll just have things in common and it will just feel good.

3: A flawed line

i often hear this idea: "you're telling her that you think she's interesting and you're curious to get to know her better. you're going to give her a little bit of your time".

More bullshit, honestly. It comes off as patronizing that you're going to "give her a bit of your time." What it does is give the impression that YOU think your time is worth more than hers, before you've even gotten to know her. It's highly likely that the response would be like, "Just get on with whoever else you have to get to if you're so busy."

And you don't need to tell her that you think she's interesting. How would you even know that anyway? Based solely on her appearance? You're not scoring any points by trying to tell a girl that the interesting thing about her is how she looks. That's basic.

Some guys can pull off this kind of condescending, especially if they have confidence and don't mind ending up with the emotionally broken women that will go for this. But if you're just starting on this journey, you don't need to go down that rabbit hole.

4: It's not terrible if she knows

my worry is that when there's a girl im attracted to and i ask her to come join me and hangout, it feels painfully obvious that im attracted to her.

This assumes that you aren't good enough. Look, if a girl agrees to join you and hang out, SHE'S GOING TO REALIZE THAT YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO HER. That is a good thing. It's not a turn off.

Some girls do like to play games and make it all like a bunch of spy games, wondering if he really likes her, and you can certainly try to market yourself for those girls. But my question would be, why would you want to limit yourself only to women who like to play manipulative games?

5: You don't build up attraction before, you build it up during interactions

so then i feel like i first just need to build up more attraction. and this brings up another question of balance.

No. You spend time with a girl, pay attention, interact, and carefully escalate, and you'll find out if there's attraction on your part and hers. Sometimes you won't feel it. Sometimes she won't be feeling it.

6: Again, it's not so complicated

i want to talk to girls but im also trying to talk to other people to demonstrate my social value.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to talk to people. But being concerned with some sort of "value" level is nonsense. Some people will simply like you and others won't. And while it's a good thing to be seen as social, rather than anti-social, it's not like you have to keep grinding or your "level" goes down.

7: Stop rejecting girls accidentally

ive sometimes focused so much on talking to non-targets to up my social value that my target has just walked away. and then im left with... well whats the point?

The point is, if you have interest in someone, you go see what they're about, without assumptions about who they are or whether you will be attracted at the end. It's a mutual discovery process where both people find out if they're attracted. Or you can keep doing what you're doing and pretend as if you're not interested, which just leads to people walking away because they think you're not interested.

You realize that people walking away likely means they thought you were rejecting them?

It's not the end of the world if someone thinks you're actually interested in talking to them. In fact, the way you get someone to open up, is precisely by showing interest in them. Making good follow-up questions and digging in deeper into what makes them tick as a person.

LordMvulcan · 2017-09-22T13:14:38+00:00

It isn't bad if you show interest, I think I have heard if you don't show so sort of sexual interest you get friendzoned

essexaspie · 2017-09-22T14:24:23+00:00

Depends on where you write you field reports!

I write mine here, and failure usually is met with ''She just wasn't into you...next!!'' (this sub seems to promote going direct on girls until you find one that that clearly likes you after you open)

I also write them on a different forum, and failure usually is met with ''You needed to DHV more and be more aloof. You should not have told her that you thought she was hot as you gave your power away. You should have disqualified yourself at that point'' etc etc etc

There's always gonna be a big conflict and PUA's will never agree.

It's bugged me for a long time because even if I fail, I at least want to be doing the 'right' things when i'm infield!

Just have too experiment and find out what ACTUALLY gets you laid, I guess (e.g super direct and make it crystal clear from the off that you wanna bang her? Play it cool and aloof? Play it indirect verbally, but direct with the sub communications? Just self amuse and hope she gets drawn into your world? etc etc etc)

theRJMurray · 2017-09-22T04:23:27+00:00

You need new teachings. Don't use what was taught in The Game.

DirkDieGurke · 2017-09-22T18:05:27+00:00

You're overthinking it. It's good to show legitimate desire. Girls need to see you find her attractive. Aloofness can actually turn her off if she feels you don't think she's sexy.

Title	im having trouble understanding how i can show interest without sacrificing my seductiveness
Author	bogedy
Upvotes	7
Comments	5
Date	September 22, 2017 1:00 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/71nn30/im_having_trouble_understanding_how_i_can_show/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-having-trouble-understanding-how-i-can-show.1434105 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434105

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