Iam an Angry, Broken Man. Help.

pandavega · 2017-10-09T00:58:03+00:00

My dude...you're 21 years old you literally have so much time ahead of you it's ridiculous. Take some steps in bettering yourself. Baby steps.

You want a guide? Go to the gym and workout and get some muscle on your frame. Eat right. Love yourself first more than you can I love anyone else. That's attractive no matter what.

You can't change who you are but you can be the best version of yourself possible. This will make you happy and it will reflect in your interactions and the way people see you.

Hang in there man. You're 21 it took me till I was 24 to figure my shit out and love myself. I still struggle but I focus my energy on me and not unworthy women. The worthy ones will come later.

Destyllat · 2017-10-09T01:07:34+00:00

the brutal honesty is this:

life is hard. like really REALLY hard. you are a man. as such, you will have nothing given to you. you have to TAKE it.

the problem is: women are fickle. they may not like you. (this is probably 80% of the time) they may like you IN THE MOMENT (10% of the time) or they may genuinely be attracted to you but likely be too scared to ever show you (10% of the time)

I guarantee you that you have been in the company of women willing to sleep with you and you never knew it. I promise you this has happened. Why didn't it actually happen? Because you, as a man, didn't MAKE it happen.

You also have another problem. You are who you are and you will only become more fully what you already are. the goal is to become the best version of who you are because you will never become somebody else. that doesn't mean you can't change anything, that means you have to accept that some things can't be changed. accept yourself FULLY for who you are and bend the opinions of others to your frame of mind. You are a good and valuable person. you are attractive. you have desirable qualities. NOBODY will love you unless you love yourself first. This is coming from somebody who can say, without a doubt, has never in a single day loved themself.

I have been married. I have had multiple partners at once. I have been lonely and I have been all alone. I cannot change myself. This is how I look. This is how I act. These are the resources available to me. These are the relationships that make up my life. Accept it and seek to improve, always. In the meantime approach everybody you have the urge to. Don't rationalize. Don't puss out motherfucker. You are a MAN. If you don't do this you will die all alone.

DavidGolani11 · 2017-10-09T02:52:28+00:00

A friend of mine got depressed in college when a girl he liked dissed him. He lifted for 6 straight months and got muscles and abs. he then proceeded to party with at least half a dozen chicks over the next year.

The lesson is self improvement works, because it helps self-esteem.

HipTurtle199 · 2017-10-09T06:02:49+00:00

Your situation is real fk'd. I know because I'm in that same hole. I turn 20 next month, I'm not the tallest guy 'round, I rarely have ever gotten compliments about being good looking, only "cute" when I was younger (probably because I was like less than 5'6 until around a couple years ago). Only dated 1 girl in high school (albeit very shortly, only 2 weeks), never kissed a girl. Furthest I got was cuddling with some chick I met on Tinder because I froze when she made it dead obvious she wanted to have sex. I don't go out because I have not a lot of confidence, and no idea where to go to even meet girls around here.

Honestly if it wasn't for getting a job a few months ago, and meeting one of my buddy's sisters (she's an incredible person, and just makes me happy talking to her but she lives too far away to get close to her), I would be a complete mess. I bought my affordable dream car, and I'm learning manual in it to try and build some confidence that way.

If being yourself got you into this situation in the first place, being yourself won't get you out. That's why I think the whole 'be yourself' thing is bs. Sure, you can be yourself, but you need to be a better you before you can do that. We have to change our ways, build confidence any way we can, and only then will we seem attractive and fun to be around. The hardest part is having to throw yourself into incredibly uncomfortable situations and scenarios for the sake of learning and confidence building.

The easy part is admitting we have a problem and that we need to change it to get better, the hard part is doing so, and climbing out of the hole. People say if you are in your early 20's or so, that you shouldn't worry because you have lots of time. But you don't know that. No one 'knows' how much time they actually have. It's the sad truth. These are experiences most people should have in high school and college, not into their 20's. There comes a point where it just doesn't seem attractive to be like 27 or something and still not have any experience kissing or anything.

I'm going to start by waking up tomorrow morning, video chatting my friend, and watching the sun rise on a park bench on a hill. I'm going to try and eat healthier and start lifting as well. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself and I'm sick of being a lonely, boring, lazy PoS. I just need to tell myself I need to feel happy to be happy.

2017-10-09T07:41:39+00:00

As soon as you put your peepee into a vajayjay you will realize how insignificant it is.

noob_said · 2017-10-09T15:00:31+00:00

Not having kissed a girl doesn't make you a loser. How does it make you a loser? Answer this. How do you think it works? Do you magically turn into winner after you kiss a girl. That's nonsense. You are still a man, not a less of a man whether you are virgin or not. You are not a total loser. You're only losing in aspect of your life(relationship), but still winning in education (you are getting a medical degree ffs), fitness etc. Its okay to be virgin too. There are no rules on which age a person must have lost virginity. Being virgin is not the big problem, its you beating youself up for being a virgin is the problem. Seek counseling if you are able to seriously.

TheXXL · 2017-10-09T15:07:44+00:00

stand at a whopping 5'7 (insecure af about this)

No reason to be.

-lifting for a year -been complimented on good physique, style, smell, humour -on the path to medical school next year

So i wonder what your problem might be?

Problem *-depressed as fk because i've never even kissed a girl and i feel like a goddamn loser and less of a man *

Ok. Let me tell you, it's all in your mind. You are constructing a fantasy that you cannot ever achieve! To have sex is fulfilling, but it is sooo much less magical than what you think. It is also nothing! mark my words, nothing to be proud of or brag about or feeling worthless because you didn't have it yet. It is like taking a really big dump, impressive to you, but totally unimportant to the rest of humanity and a totally natural thing to happen. So... relax... Ok? No one gives a shit.

-it bothers me that people just hook up like its nothing (probably because of my lack of experience here)

Who does that? And then, how does it happen? How many people are in actual long term relationships? Long story short: Don't believe everything people say, most of them are lying pieces of crap, and their egos like to be inflated by showing off how they fuck sooo much... Funny thing is, someone who is having regular sex, even with different partners, doesn't brag about it. Only those who _don _, those people brag.

-it bothers me that no matter how hard i work, i will never be the guy that girls naturally come to

Oh boo hoo.... it bothers me that i will never be a billionaire, it bothers me that i will never be 20 again, and so on. So what? Will you die just because you are not one of the , lets say 5% of men that attract women so much that they do what women only do in very very rare cases, approach a man? My god... you have such luxury problems...

Example: I went on a date last month with a girl i really liked. Caught feelings and she did not,

Shit happens, next girl. by the way, you need more dates, and stop putting those girls onto a pedestal. Catching feelings after one date! man... you really need more dates!

didn't even have the courtesy to wish me a happy birthday a week later.

It's funny how people expect and demand so much from effectively strangers. When it is my birthday, i expect to be left alone, and i don't get it either, so we both have our problems here...

Been a month and i still cant stop thinking about it.

This is a real problem, but i will help you to solve it. This is your ego speaking to you. It tells you, that you feel like this one girl owes you something, and it makes you crazy that she isn't interested in you. I have gotten an advice from a good friend many years ago: "Whatever people do or say, don't take it personally. It doesn't help anyways."

Im in my last year of college and feel like i'm below all the other guys because my friends all got this shit over with at high school parties and what not.

stop comparing yourself to your friends! People are individuals, no one want's the same, no one develops the same and so on. That doesn't make you less value than the others!

All i can think about is how embarrassing it will be when ~~(if)~~ i end up with a girl for the first time and not even know what to do whereas she will be experienced to the point where it makes me scared to even pursue it.

Dude... if?? seriously? Stop the self loathing, there is no if there is just a when and if you are not feeling ready, you don feel ready. Why would this be embarrassing anyways? Do you really think every girl has soooooooo much experience, just because she is 20 whatever? Look, i am sure porn has given you a total wrong view of sexuality, so get a grip on reality: You don't need a 40cm long, and 10Cm thick cock to have sex. You will not pound her like a rabbit while she is screaming like a banshee... all this shit is not real! In reality, you will find a girl, at some point you both will want to get intimate, and communication is extremely important there! You tell her that you are a virgin boom crazy, right? Sure it might turn off some shallow bitches, but who needs them anyways.

If you are scared at being laughed at, i can only say, i have never heard of a case where a girl did that, and again, if she doesn, she's a pile of crap and not worth your time anyways. Also, if you feel strange about all that, you are still young and no one cares anyways, but if you want to know what to say about being virgin you say: "i wanted to wait until marriage... but at one point i thought 'that is so stupid' "

And the cycle begins again.

I know how that feels... you have to break that cycle yourself, by ... as stupid as it sounds, stopping to think about this crap.

It's gotten to the point where i am having trouble focusing on school and don't really care much about my success. Please don't tell me any of that "just be yourself", "do what makes you happy" garbage. I want practical advice and brutal honesty about my situation. Thank You.

Come on, be yourself! hahah sorry mate, i think i gave the brutal honesty of my perspective, and to top it off, i was a virgin until i was 30! see that it's not that bad? I am 40 now, and i know i was making myself into a stupid idiot, and only when i stopped caring so much about it, i finally found a girl who was cool, i wasn't scared anymore, and we had sex. She was one of those girls with many different partners, and she knew about my virginity. She was so surprised how much i cared about her satisfaction, and she told me after two sessions how addicted she was to my tounge. My point here is, if you don't care, she doesn't care, and even with no real experience, you can satisfy a girl sometimes better, than the fuck stud who had 40 bitches already. It's all in the details. Just relax, interact with girls, and it will present you a opportunity.

Title	Iam an Angry, Broken Man. Help.
Author	winu96
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	October 9, 2017 12:48 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/755nv8/iam_an_angry_broken_man_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/iam-an-angry-broken-man-help.1434970 https://theredarchive.com/post/1434970

Comments