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Makes me angry my roommate talks about fucking girls and talking to girls while I can't do either..How can I get better?

Insolenced

October 19, 2017

6 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Title	Makes me angry my roommate talks about fucking girls and talking to girls while I can't do either..How can I get better?
Author	Insolenced
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	October 19, 2017 2:38 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/77bnva/makes_me_angry_my_roommate_talks_about_fucking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/makes-me-angry-my-roommate-talks-about-fucking.1435472 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435472

Comments

[–]houndog57 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SnapSocialGuru 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So if this dude is legitimately pulling on a regular basis, and he's an old friend, spend more time around him.

Learn his mannerisms, his way of talking, and take WHAT YOU LIKE from it. I'm not saying become him, but certain take parts that you find cool/interesting and the ones that mesh with your own personality without threatening who you believe you are, and try them out yourself.

Also, ask him about the details. Men love to brag. Hear how he took her from meet to lay. I'm sure he has a definable process. Every natural I know, every single one that I've ever met, has a pretty clear process.

Once you turn that anger/jealousy into fuel for learning, you're going to learn fast, since you will be absorbing this guy's game via osmosis.

That's the only thing close to mentorship I ever had my first 4 years - learning from the guys who were pulling more than me. Watching what they did right (and what they did wrong) and trying it out myself, or at least finding the core REASON why it worked, then adding my own personal taste to it.

You're in college. That's mostly social circle game. I'd start there. Cold approach is great but it's a harder climb than social circle.

Your first goal is to start getting invited places. This has two components, and a third way that's almost foolproof

Providing value. This can be that you're funny, smart, you have good conversation, you're similar to people in the group (thus share interests and they can talk to you about shit they care about), etc. Get people talking about themselves and make them feel good about it. Find out what their hobbies. Ask for details. Seem interested and they'll want to tell you more. Be CURIOUS. that's the key. If you're curious about people, in a fun, light-hearted and genuine way, they will LOVE to be around you. This is 90% of the work and if people enjoy being around you, they will usually invite you places or want to see you.
Drop hints. Ask people what they're up to this weekend. Don't invite yourself, but ask them what they're up to. If they say, "Oh, heading to a party?" Ask them something like "Is it open or just for a particular fraternity or group?" At that point, if they're not socially retarded, or if they like you, they'll probably invite you. You can do this with people you only recently met in class, for instance. You sit next to someone, ask them how they are, introduce yourself, ask their major, where they're from, etc. Bullshit.

Then, ask them what they're up to this weekend. If they like you, they might invite you along

Invite people places.

Even when I was somewhere where I knew no one or didn't know what to do, I'd make some bullshit up.

"Hey, man, I'm heading to the library/beach/etc, you should join me!"

It could be a really stupid activity (and obviously a cool one gets you more points), BUT the point is you were OFFERING VALUE.

Oftentimes, people will want to see you and talk to you and give things to you if they know you value them.

Value usually always gets value back.

Do one or all three of these and you will find yourself in group situations. Then, the studying begins, and that's a whole other story.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ProfsrChaos 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

__1__

It seems like all he does is talk to me about the girls that hit him up, or how he slides in some girls DM's and gets to fuck, or something similar.

It's a very common issue among men, to be addicted to the validation one can get by getting at a new girl. It's like Pokemon. Gotta catch 'em all. And it's never enough, because they're trying to solve an internal issue that an external factor (getting with girls) can't resolve.

But your friend won't know this until he goes through the cycle more and finds out that he's just repeating the same issues.

__2__

It gets me a little angry and kind of jealous because while he's off fucking a girl I'm in the dorm room not doing anything, or talking to anyone.

Well, this has nothing to do with HIM. It has everything to do with frustration towards yourself about your lack of action.

__3__

So now I'm here. I don't even know where to start when trying to get better at talking to girls. It's something I want to become good at over anything. Any kind of help would be appreciated.

There are no short cuts. You could go out and start approaching only women. But this approach is lopsided, in my opinion. And it is harder in some ways because you have to stumble through a LOT of discomfort because of failed approaches.

But, if you want an easier way to build up the core skills involved with this (getting at girls), you should seek out mixed groups of men and women. Social circles. Here are some possible options.

Hash runs. Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets. Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers.
Social partner dancing. Salsa, Tango, Lindy hop, West coast swing, etc. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. Also, you're going to learn how to get comfortable being in close and touching a girl and learning how to know when and how they like being touched.
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.

Any of these options would allow you to interact in mixed groups. Which takes the pressure off because there are a bunch of people around, including men and girls you might not be attracted to. So instead of standing around working up your courage to talk to one girl at a time, you can be warming up ALL the time, no matter what. You can be building confidence, all the time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Insolenced[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DirkDieGurke 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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