I want to talk to guys I like, but I'm not sure how to initiate conversations

NunoHimself · 2017-10-21T01:43:49+00:00

Congratulations, you now know what approach anxiety is. If you assume a good response, you'll get a good response. Also, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. If you say "I'm chinese" in a weird shy way, they'll be weirded out. If you say "I'm chinese" as joke with confidence and expect them to respond, they'll find it funny and respond. I know you were expecting a line, and here's my line for you: "hi".

ForrestWarrior · 2017-10-21T05:19:03+00:00

To answer your question, you can talk with someone without seeming desperate or weird because you genuinely don’t mind the outcome, whether you hit it off, whether they say something back, whether the conversation only lasts a few sentences is all ok. Especially in high school where you see the same people regularly, you can say something small one day (even something like nice hair and a smile), and not get into a whole conversation, but you’ll be setting yourself up for future encounters. The guy will remember ‘oh hey it’s the girl who smiled and complimented me again’ and he’ll have more desire to talk with you since you’ve made yourself more visible to him than the rest of the crowd.

Don’t feel worried about your anxiety or your insecurities, every girl in existence has felt that and it’s much more acute in girls than in men. You’re not alone.

Since your 16, I’d say focus on bettering yourself and don’t worry too much about finding the right guy. This is still true when you get older too.

generalid1234 · 2017-10-21T14:44:59+00:00

First of all let me say congratulations. I wish when I was 16, I was asking those questions. Whatever answers you find or do not find, keep up the good work: exploration, asking questions, trying to understand etc.

I think your question is situation specific. Those guys that you wanna talk to, are you taking any classes with them? Are you doing any extra curricular activities with them? Do you only see them around and have nothing in common?

For example, if you are taking a class with one of them, next time try to sit close to him. When it comes to initiating conversation, if you find them wearing something you like, comment on it. ''I really like your sneakers'', ''thats a nice shirt'', etc etc. OR if you can find something you are doing in common, you can also start from there, like ''How did ... homework go for you guys, I couldnt find any good sources for it'' etc etc.

If you only see them around, and have nothing in common, it is a bit more trickier, but you can pull it off. Say, you see one of those guys you wanted to talk to, walking towards you in the hallway or sth. If you have observed sth you like about them, or sth you found you could bring it up, now is the time.

I would have first said ''hi'' confidently, then go like ''you played really well in the basketball game last week, you guys did a great job, congratulations on winning'' or ''excuse me, are you playing in ... band? I loved how you played...'' or ''I like your sneakers they are really cool''

after you said sth like this observe and improvise. Did he stop and listened to you carefully? Then go on talking. Did he keep walking, seemed like busy?, cut short.

If you can pull of sth like this, you are way ahead of a lot of people. A trick I use is, thinking about the worst case scenario beforehand, if you have some time. You went up and said ''...'', what is the worst case scenario? Is he just gonna be wierded out? is that your biggest fear? I find that if I can accept the worst case scenario, things go easier. That doesnt mean you dont try to improve your chances, actually, the whole point is to get away from the worst case scenario. But if it happens, you move on.

and don't forget that high school is a place people judge you for the littlest things. Dont give up. I think you will do well tho, since you started asking questions.

Honeybunches94 · 2017-10-21T16:59:27+00:00

The first thing to do is to be comfortable talking to anyone. Having conversations with yourself like there is a person there helps with a lot of things(do it in private so people don't think you're crazy lol).

-You are still really young and I'm sure will be better at approaching people over time but it's good that you are seeking this advice now. -As long as the approach is warm and kind, no men or women will turn you down in a rude way. - Realize that people don't owe you a conversation. That is really important. Just because you like someone doesn't mean they have to like you back and vice versa. And while it's not okay to be rude rejection is a part of our lives and it's okay to be rejected by people just as much as it's okay to reject people. - Know the kind of things you'd like to talk or ask about beforehand, it helps with coming up with things on the spot. -While trying to make your move, try to have a warm smile on your face and even if you aren't, look comfortable. -Try to maintain eye contact but not on a serial killer level. -BE YOURSELF!! If you try to act like someone you're not, you will make both yourself and the person you are approaching uncomfortable. - Talk about things you are interested in. Ask what they are into. Like music. If there is a song playing, comment on it depending on your like and ask what kind of music he is into it he doesn't agree with yours. - Comment on an article of clothing. It's color, pattern or how it looks good on him. I have gotten a date from only saying "cool shirt" and it leading into a conversation and then a date. - Approach in a friendly manner. Instead of looking like you're out to catch a boyfriend, look for a friend. If it leads into something, great. If it doesn't, you've got a new friend orrr onto the new one.

Hope this helps:)

ricky_rocketfingers · 2017-10-21T22:56:05+00:00

no broads allowed

lifeson106 · 2017-10-21T16:44:30+00:00

Just trust in the fact that you're good with people and go say whatever comes to mind. Worst case, "Hey, what's up?". There will be awkward moments at first, just accept it and call it out - "So, I know this is super awkward and everything, but I've seen you around and you seem cool, so I wanted to meet you."

Title	I want to talk to guys I like, but I'm not sure how to initiate conversations
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	27
Comments	6
Date	October 21, 2017 1:36 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/77qm9d/i_want_to_talk_to_guys_i_like_but_im_not_sure_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-want-to-talk-to-guys-i-like-but-im-not-sure-how.1435571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435571

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